Nidhi, an adopted child, lost her biological parents in a horrific accident at the tender age of four, resulting in the most traumatic experience of her life.
While her father showers her with love, the same cannot be said about her mother. Nidhi pl...
Note - This chapter contains mention of Anxiety Attack in detail. Those who are suffering from anxiety avoid reading it, it can be triggering.
NIDHI
It was all dark, the discourse, I had with Rohit was constantly flowing in my mind.
I was feeling deceived, next month is his wedding. It means his family was planning for it way earlier, he knew about it still, he didn't tell me and he was faking it all this while. It is me who got to know about it, this late.
My emotional turmoil was getting intensified due to thinking about his deception constantly, the truth about Rohit's impending wedding.
Tears flowed uncontrollably, and the weight of the situation was taking a toll on my physical well-being. Shortness of breath, a heavy chest, and dizziness was consuming me , creating a sense of impending doom.
Despite attempting deep breaths, anxiety was slowly gripping me tightly, making my body feel weak and on the verge of collapse.
The realization of the situation overwhelmed my senses, painting a bleak picture of despair.
Due to crying continuously, I was feeling shortness of breath, like someone has kicked me on my chest. My head was spinning and it was feeling heavy and dizzy, even in the month of may, my body was feeling cold like ice. Weakness was gripping my being, like I would shatter any moment. I was sweating profusely and my breathing quickened and became shallow. Oxygen was not reaching my lungs. I was taking deep and long breaths to ease myself but it was not helping me. My body became stiff like, a rock. It was feeling like someone was holding my neck tightly and that was making me choke on my breath. I felt as I would faint any moment, and the surrounding was making me more anxious.
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I was not carrying pills, I was not in a safe place, the city was unknown and all alone, it was late night and there was no one around to help me.
In excitement of meeting, Rohit, I entirely forgot to carry my pills.
I was not able to contain myself. I was taking long breaths to ease myself, but it was not helping me.
I collapsed on the hot cemented floor, breathing slowly, just trying to stay alive. It felt like, today might be my last day on earth, but I didn't want to meet my end like this. I longed to meet Papa for the last time, the only man in my life who atleast took me as a human, and not a robot. I wished, I had an oxygen pump to ease, the lack of oxygen in my lungs, a sensation familiar from my Anxiety Attacks. A lump was forming in my wind pipe due to tensed muscles, hindering my ability to breathe.
I was feeling incapable to even stand. The overwhelming helplessness was shattering further.
I had erected strong walls to prevent anyone from reaching or noticing me. However, due to my own lapse in judgement, I am here today, Helpless and Vulnerable.
