To The One Who Isn't Mine yet

Accidental Suicide.

When does a human die?
The moment his heart stops pumping blood through the body and the breathing stops, within a few minutes the brain stops functioning. The body loses its warmth and as time passes, The dead person starts growing colder.

Biology professor Zanish would have formerly described death. Now let's see how Zanish who met death would describe the process of dying.

A human doesn't die when his heart stops beating and his body grows cold.
A human dies when his hope dies. Living is an act of dying every day little by little. During the entirety of their lives, some humans die innumerable times in unimaginable ways.
We only live once, but we die every once in a while.

He never wanted to end his life. He just wanted to feel something or may be stop feeling everything. He was craving some tranquillity. But during his last moments of consciousness, he was traversed into an endless oblivion. His body surely felt lighter than usual but the sensation of being alone was not as peaceful as he thought would be.

He felt scared. For the very first time in many years, he was petrified by the sight of darkness engulfing him wholly. There was no sky above him and no ground beneath him, he was hanging in between this world and the other world which he wasn't even aware of. He was lost in an endless oblivion of despair.

Often we would lament about our agonies of this world, forgetting that the world beyond this life-supporting globe is remorseless. Nobody knows you exist, your existence is limited to this world and the memories of people in this world. The world doesn't stop revolving if you or me or anyone from this world dies. Everything will be perfectly normal and you will be missed only until someone wants to keep you remembering. Your memories are always one moment away from being forgotten completely.
He was terrified of being forgotten by time, to lose himself completely in this never-ending abyss of grief.

But what was he grieving for?

Zanish doesn't remember how he ended up in an emergency ward of a hospital. The moment he fluttered his eyes open, he was blinded by the whitewashed walls and fluorescent lights. His nostrils were flared with a foreign smell of bleach and all he could hear was the beeping sound of medical equipments attached to his body.

"After life surely doesn't look like a hospital ward. Am I still alive?" He came to a conclusion that someone saved him from his early death which he is somehow grateful for.

He scanned his surroundings, the room was filled with emptiness. What was he even expecting? That his loved ones would be there to cheer him to escape the death that he brought upon himself.

The memories of the past came flooding into his mind. What was he even doing? He instantly regretted everything! Every moment of his life! He realised his existence was nothing but a mere speck of dust on a windowpane. One swift blow of wind or one gentle breeze is sufficient to make him disappear from this world. He doesn't remember much but just a feeling of horror in his chest. Before last night he was feeling empty, now that emptiness is filled with dread.

He took a sharp breath which caused a slight discomfort in his chest, he winced a little and tried to calm his breathing down. He shut his eyes and focused on his breathing pattern.
He can feel the oxygen filling his lungs, travelling into his bloodstream and being exchanged at each cell of his body. His entire body became responsive to each stimuli. He felt these weird sensations in his body. For the very first time, he felt himself back in his body, the vessel holding his soul until his lord decided to call him back to where he truly belonged.
He was lost in these thoughts and didn't notice Habib entering his ward.

Habib stood there for a while and then grabbed his attention by coughing a little.

Zanish's gaze averted towards Habib's voice. He gave Habib a meek smile, which almost disappeared when he heard Habib saying, "Apparently a human doesn't die with a few sleeping pills in his body, he just loses his consciousness, basically like sleeping soundly after a long day of work."
He walked slowly towards Zanish while his voice was still soft. Zanish couldn't understand if Habib was serious or just mad because of his foolishness.
"Zanish you should have known this well, considering your profession." Habib clicked his tongue to express disappointment with Zanish's unsuccessful suicide attempt. He stood near the bed with his arms folded in front of his chest, his expressions clearly visible that he is demanding an answer from Zanish's side.

Zanish tried to straighten up while trying to explain to Habib that he didn't intend to commit suicide but Habib was fast enough to shut him out by slapping Zanish hard across his cheek. If it were some other day Habib would have preferred running into a wild bear in a forest while wearing a honeycomb shirt because nobody dares to lay a finger on Zanish, but Habib was not going to allow his best friend to ruin his perfect life with his own hands. That's what best friends are here to do! That's what best friends are expected to do in such situations.

The slap caused a stinging burn spreading like flames across Zanish's cheek, he felt as if his jaw just dislocated but Nah! Habib needs to pump himself up a bit more.

"Ow!" Zanish tried to soothe his pain by rubbing his fingers slightly over his cheek.

"Habib, you need to get a new gym trainer." Zanish taunted Habib.

Habib was taken aback by his audacious smile while rubbing his cheek.

"I mean if it were me at your place, I would have dislocated your jaw and broken your teeth with one swift punch!" A sly expression of Zanish was enough for Habib to scoff in disbelief. The classic cocky Zanish is back he thought.

"Look at yourself Zanish. Lying on a hospital bed with a drip giving you life support." He made a pitiful remark while his eyes scanned Zanish's weak form which made the blood boil in Zanish's veins. But he took a deep breath to calm himself down because now was not the right time to fix Habib's circuit board. He made a mental note to take a well-planned revenge against his best friend's disrespect.

"What a nice way to welcome your best friend back from his death bed" he chuckled airily, a futile attempt to ease things up but this time Habib was fuming with utter rage.

"Do you have any idea how much pain you have caused us with this terrible act of yours?" Habib cocked his brow while the vein on his forehead was popping out due to anger with which he was now gritting his teeth.

"Bro, listen to me—-" Zanish closed his eyes irritably due to Habib's accusations, while trying to explain his part but Habib cut him off again, "Stop it zanish, honestly I'm done with your boyish acts. I never expected this kind of nonsensical behaviour from you. I thought You were mature enough to deal with such petty things but guess I was wrong.
Alhamdulillah, I heard your voicemail and tried calling you back because you know very well I cannot stay mad at you longer than this. But when I called you back You didn't receive any of my calls. I would have given you space and never reached you out at your home if it weren't for Uncle Ahmed (Zanish's father) calling me and pleading with me to check up on you.
Do you have any idea how worried your parents are because you were not responding to their calls?"

Zanish has never seen Habib so disappointed in him. He finally accepted his mistake and decided to not clarify his stance. Because no matter how much explaining he does Habib or anyone would still blame Zanish for taking the pills. He cannot tell them that it was an 'Accidental Suicide'.

He accepted his mistake and apologised to Habib, which made Habib tear up a bit while taking Zanish into a side hug.

"And he calls me a boy, huh? Look at him crying like a little girl who found her misplaced doll. Such a crybaby he is."
Zanish cringed inwardly trying to calm Habib, he didn't said it out loud because he doesn't want another punch on his handsome face.