To The One Who Isn't Mine yet

Devil's Offer.

Zanish was once again alone in his apartment. He has never felt suffocated in his sanctuary but today his humble abode was turning into a haunted house filled with the ghosts of the past.

He decided to put these thoughts away and made wudhu to offer Tahajjud. He was immersed in his prayer. Today he had nothing in him or around him. Nobody could help him, nor did they understand his predicament. How can he tell others that he has this empty hollowness in his chest echoing with haunting silence? How can he make others feel the way he is feeling right now? How can one feel emptiness with an intensity that weighs his heart down in his guts? The pain of his heart can only be felt in the bones of broken people.

The tears that unveiled his vulnerability in front of Habib once again cascaded down his face while he was in Sujood but he didn't feel any shame while crying in front of his lord. He let his heart pour out all the pain in the form of soft sobs. Once again he was a 9-year-old kid sobbing alone in the vicinity of his room. He wiped his tears and stood back again on his feet as he used to do when he was a kid.
9-year-old Zanish was weak but 25-year-old Zanish is strong enough to deal with his pain alone. He buried the wailing kid again in the cemetery of his memory lane, as he used to do all these years of his life. He has no time to console his inner child, so he just pushes him away in a hurry to make his life better again.
Once again the distress signals of his inner child were ignored and he was exiled into a state of abandonment.

He had a nice sleep after a good crying session. The next morning he felt oddly good, even though his face was puffy due to all the crying last night. Anyway, he was staying at home today so he didn't need to worry about his looks. He took a shower and made himself an eatable breakfast.

While watching the news headlines on television he gobbled up all his breakfast. He was so deeply invested in the morning news bulletin that he didn't realise his phone was ringing in his room while it was on charge.

He found 4 missed calls from Habib and 2 missed calls from Sir Arthur. He dialled the one who needed to be attained firsthand.

"Yes Habib, I am alright. I just had my breakfast. Yes, I slept very well last night. You don't have to worry about me. I am not going to kill myself or anybody else. Okay bye. Take care."

After attestation to Habib about his wellness Zanish let out a chill breath of relief and then called Sir Arthur even though he didn't feel like talking to him at all. He was just curious about why he called after kicking him out yesterday. Not literally. Because nobody can Kick Zanish out of anywhere. He left that shitty arse institution. He rolled his eyes while Sir Arthur sounded pleasant this morning. Guess he realised his mistake and wants me to join back, as if I am gonna join again. He smirked in a cocky manner.

"Good Morning, Mr. Zanish" He beamed happily which made Zanish cringe in disgust. How can the morning be happy when he is unemployed because of this huge fat globule of a man?

"Indeed a really good morning for you, Sir Arthur ." He couldn't bite himself back from this sarcastic reply. Anyway, he doesn't work under that crusty old baguette anymore, so he shouldn't worry about anything. Right?

Sir Arthur instantly coughed as he sensed the heat of spice in Zanish's words. He jumped straightaway to the topic without beating around any prickly bushes. He values his dear life and nobody, literally nobody dares to mess with Zanish Ahmed.

"Zanish, I have a good news for you." He tried to lighten up the mood.

"Did the educational minister finally sue you for lacking in your work?" Zanish was in his full offensive mode.

Sir Arthur chuckled awkwardly at his joke, except he was not joking. "Oh, my dear lord. No wonder you are the most charismatic bachelor out there, you have got a good sense of humour. Might bag you plentiful of beautiful ladies." He winked at himself alone in his office as if Zanish could see his merriment.