To The One Who Isn't Mine yet

Appointment.

A faint knock on the door can be heard followed by an approval of letting him in, "Yes, Come in."

Reluctantly, he twisted the knob open and enters the room which happens to be filled with many houseplants. For a moment he thought that he accidentally entered into a strange botanical garden. The wooden flooring was decorated with a white rug and the room smelled of freshly watered grass and a faint musk of petrichor.

There was a huge Kentia palm tree behind the sofa letting in the morning sunlight seep in through the canopy of their leaf blades.

The room is furnished with all brown wooden furniture and a wall decorated with shelves filled with all sorts of psychology related books and folders. Behind the table there she was seated, a lady in her mid-thirties. She beamed with a welcoming smile and greeted Zanish, "Good morning, how can I help you?"

Zanish was oddly quieter than he intended to be. He could not understand why he was suddenly feeling stripped naked even though he hadn't spoken a word yet. One glance of this mind-reading witch was enough to make him feel bare skin alive.

Somehow he managed to keep his nerves calm and replied with an assertive voice, "Good Morning. You might have been informed of my arrival. I was referred to by Sir Arthur Garros."

She made an 'O' expression and gestured him politely to take a seat, "Yes I have been informed. Please have a seat Mr.?"

"Zanish. Zanish Ahmed." He repeated his name while getting seated in the sofa. The sofa was really comfortable.
He scanned through the room once he was settled and noticed that the aesthetics of this room were very much similar to that of a rainforest. Greens of plants and Browns of furniture blending in well with a splash of a pale shade of powder blue on the walls and white on the ceiling .
Zanish is not usually impressed with the interiors of many places, it takes a perfectly balanced ratio of lighting to decor and a soothing touch of colour palette to make a place beautiful.
And Here he caught himself admiring the interiors of this place. He credited the interior designer for taking in an effort to make this place look serene. Everything about this place was perfect except for this mind-reading lady here.

She kept aside the paperwork that she was reviewing and her complete attention was now shifted toward Zanish, which made him feel more anxious. If only he was not good at hiding his emotions well, he would have started sweating at this moment.

Dr Sadiya clasped both her hands and asked Zanish, "So how can I help you, Mr Zanish?"

Zanish scoffed internally, he thought he just had to barge in and she would cure whatever the problem was with him and hand him the confirmation letter but here she was asking stupid questions as if Sir Arthur hadn't already briefed her about his situation.

Sir Arthur has already asked Dr Sadiya to be extra careful with Zanish as he can be a little pesky sometimes. She was just trying for him to open up by himself so that she could analyse him in a better way.

"Sir Arthur must have told you everything about me, I believe," Zanish stated as it was something so obvious.

"No. He didn't tell me anything except for your appearance today. I assume you are a student of his university." She lied. Of course, she needs to be professional with him and let him be vocal about his personal information.

Zanish bursts out laughing, " I am sorry, what?"
He was surprised that she mistaken him for a student. He was expecting better from her as she claims to be a psychoanalyst. She could barely analyse anything about him, what a shame; he thought.

"Did I say something wrong?" Dr. Sadiya leaned a bit forward and was now acting utterly confused.

"I am not a student. Although, I might appear like one. I am a professor at a prestigious academic institution." His confidence slowly started to cross the line of arrogance as his demeanour slightly shifted into a more poised one.

Dr Sadiya thought to herself that he appeared perfectly fine. This man did not seem to suffer from any ailment. But she has dealt with many such patients who appear perfectly fine outwardly which is highly possible due to a trauma response to hide their insecurities and to avoid being vulnerable.

"I am extremely sorry, Mr. Zanish. You seem to be a young man, so I assumed you for a student." She apologised for her mistake but this boosted Zanish's ego more than ever.

He dismissed her with a waiver, "It's alright. I am used to this misunderstanding regarding my profession. Most people are not used to witnessing a young man like me working at an esteemed position with such proficiency. Hence I could make a difficult candidate to be fooled around." He leaned back comfortably in his seat. His eyes were set on her in a skeptical manner.

Dr. Sadiya could read in between his lines but decided to stay silent. She let him have his moment of applause. She realised within a few minutes of their interaction that this was a twisted case and that it would take a lot of time and effort for him to open up. Anyway she is not someone who gives up so easily and this case is more interesting than her usual cases, she was enjoying her conversation with a sanguine yet conceited young and intellectually gifted man like Zanish.

She has had many encounters with young men who were drug addicts or borderline psychopaths. Men who ruined their lives and wasted their youth years due to their traumatic experiences but this man here is different. He is proud of his accomplishments and fiercely dedicated to his work. He described himself as brutally honest and a real scientist and professor, someone who just looked at facts and thought that psychology is for fools who make up stories to get away with their own thwarted lives. He even made a joke about how he is willing to choose psychology as his upcoming research topic to prove that psychologists are just tricksters who fool people for money.

He had high standards but no higher than he had for himself, and he assured Dr Sadiya that he didn't need anybody's love just their respect.

He had some deep-seated hatred for psychologists. He expressed contempt for people who blamed their parents and society for their problems. Even though he had his share of misery as a child, he was determined to never think of himself as a victim.

While Zanish's toughness and his love for precision appealed to Dr. Sadiya, she couldn't help but wonder if she could discover something she had seen all too often: that people who are often obsessed with power are usually trying to avoid their internal feelings of helplessness and fear of abandonment.

Such people appear mighty strong always claiming that they don't need anyone because they are afraid of being abandoned. They abandon people and their feelings before people could abandon them. They are the ones who are usually afraid of being betrayed by their loved ones.

When she inquired about his family, Zanish told her that his father is a reputable businessman who happens to be a millionaire as well. He was an immigrant, who flew to London during the early 90s with his elder siblings and his mother. While Zanish was born here in London in the year 1998. He worked hard to provide for his family in a foreign land and the first few years were difficult for his family. He was brutal but he also had a tender and sentimental side that had kept Zanish connected with him and inspired him to become a professor.

As he told her about his mother, he realised for the first time that she substituted rigorous housekeeping for genuine care, but Zanish denied that it bothered him. His mother was always trying to keep the family intact and to avoid making his husband angry about trivial matters.

He went to school and got straight As. He had vowed to build a life free of rejection and humiliation, but, ironically he was rejected by those he loved.

A/N:
Hello people, so as you guys can tell Zanish is an arrogant man who knows that he is wrong but still doesn't know where to stop. But don't worry it's just his way of dealing with things.
As I told you guys earlier the characters are imperfect and learning to become better, it requires some patience for one to overcome their fears and stop making the same mistakes.
I hope y'all have noticed how Zanish is transcending back to his usual cocky self again and again. One moment he is depressed and the other moment he is back to being his pompous self again. This is how actual life is. People don't always feel miserable and when they do, they feel it completely letting it destroy them down to trash.
Also there is a clue about Noor in this chapter, any guesses?
Anywho stay tuned for more updates.
Sayonara!