The Redemption of a Douchebag (Hazbin Hotel Fanfic)

The Rhyming Game

Vaggie didn't end up leaving her post last night. Instead, she spent the night sleeping up against the wall right outside Adam's door. She knew well enough that Adam was no threat to the hotel, she just couldn't figure out why. Even amongst demon standards, he was remarkably weak, any overlord worth their salt would view him as smallfry. Could it have been that Niffty's attack did more damage than he gave it credit for? Could Lucifer have weakened him before nifty dealt the final blow? Could he just be faking it to trick us all? Vaggie fell asleep pondering this, and as the morning sun shined through the large window at the end of the hall, her awakening became equally unpleasant.

"Sup bitch," Adam teases, causing Vaggie to jump out of her sleep, hair covering her remaining eye and obscuring her vision. She stands up quickly as she can, and points her spear towards Adam, or at the very least where she thinks Adam is.

"You're about 30 degrees off sweetie," Adam jokes, using his fingers to adjust the spear towards the right direction. "Were you here the whole time last night? I always knew you were a bit freaky, but I never pegged you as the obsessive type."

"Eat shit and die," Vaggie responds while lowering her weapon.

"I already did, unfortunately for you all, I'm still the fucking man! What made you think you could get rid of me that easily vagasaurus?" Adam giggles.

"And what a man you are," Vaggie says underneath her breath, hoping adam wouldn't hear her. Unfortunately for her, he did still use to be an angel, and though most of his powers vanished, his hearing didn't.

"What did you just say?" Adam scorns at Vaggie.

"I-... nothing," Vaggie responds.

"It didn't sound like fucking nothing bitch! it sounds like you've got something to say!" Adam begins to get angry, flaring his shoulders in an attempt to look intimidating.

"It was nothing, forget about it. I said something stupid, can't we leave it at that." Vaggie groans while looking away. It's not like Vaggie's the type to view someone as less masculine for being emotional, especially while alone. It's just that she had always thought Adam was that type. She knew to never damage his masculinity, for fear of consequence... except, what was his ass gonna do now?

"I said what a man you are, considering what I heard last night," Vaggie smirks.

"What... Did you hear me jerking it last night or something?" Adam responds, continuing to nonchalantly sip his drink.

"NO I... God dammit," Vaggie groans, maybe attempting to bruise his masculinity may be a pointless endeavor after all. Still though, any peg she could take him down from was time well spent in her eye.

"After the lights went out, you really thought I wouldn't hear you bawling your eyes out," Vaggie said, regaining her composure.

"I- I wasn't fucking crying! In case you haven't noticed, I'm a man, not a fucking pussy." Adam shouts back. It wasn't much, but the light red tint that filled his cheeks was enough for Vaggie to continue, her confidence growing.

"Aww boo hoo... weeping your eyes out now that you have to live down here with the rest of us, instead of getting to bang your pretty little girlfriend past the pearly gates." Vaggie snarks, attempting to go in for the final blow.

"Wait... are you talking about..." Adam stops dead in his tracks for a moment, surprising Vaggie yet again.

"I mean... I thought..." Vaggie began to stumble over her words.

"She's not... We're not... Lute's not my... Man go fuck yourself! You nasty eavesdropping piece of shit!" Adam swears, turning around and going into his room, slamming the door on the way in. Vaggie effectively won that confrontation, bruising humanity's most fragile ego like she had always wanted too... Unfortunately for her however, that pit in her stomach returned.