Neverending

29

I do as Suzie suggests and head out, towards the ocean. Not the actual ocean, of course, because Terrafirme is nowhere near the coast.

But, Goddammit, Suze is right.

It's unbelievable.

I watch wave after wave break in an almost perfect line. It feels like an age since I surfed and I feel it stirring in me now, that desire to feel power under my feet. Bravery is about two hours from the coast. Between work and Juliette, I haven't been getting over there as often as I'd like. I close my eyes and listen. There's nothing except the rustle of the waves, a sound I can't believe I'd ever get used to. I wait for the sound of gulls, but there are none. I breathe in, my mind registering calm surprise at the almost sea-salty breeze that moves across my skin. I open my eyes and look again at the waves. They're almost too uniform, I notice now. But I'll sure as hell take it.

I think about everyone I'm missing and am glad to be feeling more grounded already, having found Seb's place. I'm not sure why Suze is being so cagey about where he is, though. I mean, it doesn't seem like she's especially withholding anything but at the same time, she's being a bit evasive. She knows how good friends Seb and I are and she must know how much I'd want to see him. I shrug. That's Suze, I guess.

I'll ask her straight up where Seb is when I get back indoors, I decide. I check my wristband. It has nothing to say. It's reflexive, since my phone doesn't seem to have much in the way of connectivity, to be checking in with something. I wonder if this is a habit I may start to lose, if I end up staying here for any length of time. That thought itself is a strange one to contemplate and I decide that now is not the time to give myself any more to worry about that I already have.  

'Where's Sebastian?' I ask the wristband.

It pulses while it thinks.

'Sebastian is at home,' it tells me.

I wonder if the tech isn't quite there yet. 'I'm at Sebastian's. He's not here.'

A pause.

'Sebastian is not within range. I will let you know when he's back.'

I roll my eyes. I find myself getting increasingly impatient when things don't work properly. I feel frustrated at this, and a bit by everything generally.

'Any luck finding Juliette?'

'Not yet. Sorry.'

I sense someone approach from behind me. I turn around, surprised to have another human being within range. Considering how heaving the town square was, I've seen almost no-one else since then.

Donna almost never hugs me but I feel a pair of strong arms around me, anyway.

'Kid,' she says.

I can't help it. I start crying.