Neverending

34

My heart hasn't forgotten how to pound. I can barely get the words out.

'Where is she now?'

My wristband pulses amber. I think I know what's coming.

'I can't find Juliette.'

My stomach lurches.

'Ok... What time was she in the library?'

'11.03 until 11.28.'

I check the time. It's 12.47.

Juliette.

Juliette was here, moments away from me just over an hour ago. I try to take a moment to calm my breathing. I'm aware that this is a pretty dramatic reaction but it feels like my life has been hanging in the balance for so long. It's only been four days since I last saw her but it might as well be four months.

It's hard to explain but even when we weren't together, I felt like our ties kept us pretty close. Aloof as she could be, Juliette never felt very far away. I'm not entirely sure if that's what you call love or whether you'd label it as chemistry. Either way, the absence of her now feels like an entity itself. It's an unsettling feeling I'm not used to and it's not one I care to become bed mates with.

My instinct is to go straight to the library. But I already know she won't be there.

I've always been a little impulsive and, over the years, Donna has tried to temper it down with consideration. The number of times she's told me to 'Think, Tinder.' So I think.

What would I do at the library? Look for clues? This isn't some network drama. My best guess is that, if someone's not there, all I'm going to find is an absence of them.

Obviously, I'll be going to the library anyway.

I wonder about the feasibility of leaving Donna and Jim so suddenly. I'm forever minding my actions around those who think I'm too smitten with Juliette. I know Donna stands in this camp, though I also know that, to her, my happiness comes first.

Jim, though. If he literally hadn't saved my life by getting me a spot here, I wouldn't think twice about bolting straight out of Rinse's doors. But he has. And loyalty is right up there with honesty, for me. I owe Jim and being cordial is the absolute least I can do.

My person, though. She can't be far away.

I walk back out into the main room and make my way over to our table, my heart still thumping. Donna and Jim have their heads bent towards each other, deep in conversation. Despite my dilemma, I make a mental note to feed this intel back to Seb. Something bothers me when Seb crosses my mind. Which in itself, really bothers me.

I'm turning over what I should do; where I should go. I can't do nothing.

'Clear barley for you, Tinder.' Jim slides a tall glass towards me, it's amber liquid shining in the sunlight. I barely register its taste, despite its much-hyped reputation.

'Thanks, Jim.' I take a few more sips. I'm aware conversation has all but stopped since I got back to the table. The recovering people pleaser in me can't help but try to smooth things out. 'Jim, this place is... incredible. How long have you been here?'

Jim smiles broadly. 'Six years. I love it here.'

Six years. I try to imagine spending the next six years here. I have very mixed feelings about this.

Donna is eyeing me as I make small talk. 'Jim and I might head over to Mini Citi. See if we can get through to anyone with a bit more sway.' Donna looks at Jim who nods. 'No need to come with us, though. Maybe you could head back to Sebastian's, see if he's back yet?'

My heart softens. I know Donna can see I'm desperate to boost. She's paving the way. I look around. 'Jim – let me, uhh, pick up the drinks.'

Jim laughs. 'Ahh, generous of you. But there's no money here.' I do a double take, then look down at my wristband then up again at Jim. 'I forget how confusing life can seem to you lot.' Jim motions towards the door. 'Your wristband triggers registration. Our drinks stack up against our allowance which is offset by what we do. Tasks and whatnot.'

Smart. I wonder briefly what sort of tasks I'll be given. I've never thought of myself as farming material. Now that I'm surrounded by plainly practical people, my skills start to feel embarrassingly lacking. Still, all this tech – there must be something I'd be useful for here.

'Jim, thanks a lot.' I hesitate. 'Not just for the drink.'

'Away!' Jim smiles broadly. 'You're as good as kin, Tinder.'

It feels nice to hear so. 'I'll see you later?'

Donna nods. 'I'll find you. I've got your dwelling.' She taps the side of her head, in lieu of a wristband.

'Bye, Donna. Bye, Jim.'

I give them a small wave then head outside, towards the library.