what my "Love" wants [ TAEKOOK]

part-28

The first thing that Jungkook asked after getting inside the room was

"Where's tae" Jungkook asked desperately. Obviously, he had not seen Taehyung from past 1 hour and the condition in which he leave the elder was also not very good.

"He's sleeping"  Dr. Jhope answered

"Where" Jungkook was ready to go to Taehyung when jhope stopped him

"Listen to me Jungkook. I need to talk to you about his health" jhope said his voice filled with concern. And why won't he be worried. Taehyung was his friend's husband and also a man with charming personality who easily attract people towards himself.

"Is he okay" Jungkook was already emotional from the scene he saw a while ago. Now he can't bear anything happening to Taehyung again

"He is not okay" jhope said and pointed at the chair Infront of him for Jungkook to sit.

"You are making me worried" Jungkook said his voice showing vulnerability and sat on the chair Infront of the doctor.

"Listen to me carefully. Don't get influenced by emotions. you need to be strong okay. " Jhope started

"Please tell me " at this point Jungkook's heart was beating at a very low rate as if near to stopping.

"He is suffering from psychosis. It's a severe form of depression. It tend to develop after the individual has already several episodes of depression. It starts when the one feel guilty for something he has done. The patient have hard time controlling, expressing or understanding emotions. The patient feels panic,guilt,anger and self hatred. It usually take days, weeks, months or years to heal from it. The person feel exhausted, disturbed sleep, change in appetite, feeling worthless and guilty plus unable to concentrate on anything or make decisions. But the major part is that the patient start having hallucinations and delusions and loss of contact with reality" jhope took a deep breath after completing

On the other hand, listening to this feel like Jungkook's soul had left his body. Taehyung was suffering and he was unaware? How much he want to go back in time and change his behavior towards the elder from past months. He know that all this happened because of him. He had already known about the fact that Taehyung was considering himself responsible for what's happening with younger. But still, it's too much. Jungkook had seen Taehyung exhausted, his disturbed sleep, his changes in appetite his uneasiness but he remain blind to elders condition. He should have taken care of elder when he know that elder is sensitive and insecure about himself. He had taken care of elder when he had seen him breaking apart between two relations. Did he tried to became victim?
He himself choosed to be with elder from the day one he had known everything. It was clear that Taehyung doesn't have feelings for him and there marriage was a beautiful lie. Then why he keep quiet when the elder was blaming himself for the condition. Why he tried to became a victim when in first place it was his own choice. Taehyung didn't force him into this. Is it Taehyung's fault that he can't love him(kook) back. Can we forcefully make someone love us?. With all these thoughts in his mind he was crying rubbing his hands on his thighs.

"Don't cry Jungkook you have to be strong for him" jhope tried to make Jungkook stop crying and gave him the glass of water

After calming down Jungkook said
"Where is he I want to meet him" his voice hoarse because of the amount of crying.

"You have to know one more thing before meeting him" jhope was hesitant to tell the younger after seeing younger's condition. But as a doctor it was his duty.

"Please no more bad thing" Jungkook said. It was enough for the day. He needed time to digest the matter

"The patient suffering from psychosis choose to harm themselves. Self injury. It help them to provide a distraction from painful emotions through physical pain, reduce severe distress and provide sense of relief." Jhope told the younger

" Wha- what it ha-s to do wit-h my hus-husband" Jungkook got the point but it was painful to believe it. His mind was screaming the truth and at the same time his mind was telling him to not believe.

"After seeing his condition I suspected that he might have harm himself but when he slept because of the heavy dose of medicine I checked his body" jhope stopped seeing the boy who was holding his breath as if not breathing will change the reality.

"It was nothing. Right? he didn't do anything to himself. Right?" How much Jungkook wanted this to be the truth.

" Just go and see your self " jhope said pointing at the door of the room attached to his cabin.

Jungkook wanted to get up from the chair and run towards his Taehyung but his legs were not helping at all. As if there was no life in his legs. Numb

After more then minutes, Jungkook slowly got up, he was feeling dizzy. Stumbling in the way he came Infront of the door. After opening it he entered the room and saw the bed where his life was sleeping looking pale.

He went towards Taehyung and sat on the bed beside him. He stare at elders face for almost fifteen minutes. His mind stopped processing things. The only weakness in his life was seeing his love hurt. With his blank mind he leaned in towards elders face. Mind was not processing anything. He placed his lips on elder's dry ones. Pressing there lips together his tears start flowing on elders face. He closed his eyes feeling the touch of elders lips on his. In his whole life Jungkook dreamed of this. It's was like his soul was completed. For people it might be a simple kiss, just pressing there lips together, but only Jungkook know how much he craved it. No se*ual intentions. Just pure love. He never in his life wanted elders body. Just a bit of elders soul was enough for him to live his life happily. He didn't know what he did to deserve, to be this lucky to spend these moments with elder. He doesn't feel worthy to deserve this. Just some time spend with elder, in his arms, was everything he ever wished for. And now he doesn't wanted anything. He doesn't want elder to love him back. His love was not that weak that not getting love back will affect it.

Backing away he opened his eyes and look at Taehyung who was still in a deep sleep. With his shaky hands he start opening Taehyung's shirt buttons. Praying silently.

He opened all the button but didn't had courage to slide the shirt aside. After ten minutes of mustering the courage he, with his shaky hands, slide the shirt only to close his eyes in fright

There it was. Whole chest filled with cut marks.
The word ' Die ' was written all over his  chest and stomach
If someone will see it from afar they will mistook them for small cuts

Jungkook cried looking at elders body.  Subconsciously  he start kissing each
cut or should I say each cut saying 'die'.

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😮‍💨 *Author is out of words*

Do you think Jungkook is crazy to love Taehyung selflessly.
For me, it's not craziness. It's pure love. Giving everything without accepting anything in return. It's not toxic like the shitty world nowadays.
Nowadays, the word love's value is like a one night stand as the morning came by it disappear.

It's my point of view. We people have different views and I'm not saying that you all should agree to it. You all are Right in your views. No one has right to judge you. If you find it right then it's right if you found it wrong then it's wrong. We are free to have different opinions. ( Ignore me guys. At night I say things that are not supposed to be talk about. And the chapter is affecting me badly. Sorry if the chapter offend you guys.)

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