the way i loved you

you know when it's time to go, so then you go.

Sometimes, giving up is the strong thing
Sometimes, to run is the brave thing
Sometimes, walkin' out is the one thing
That will find you the right thing

Faye's POV:

I knew from the start that I should have remained hidden in the dark. I should have let her go for real, and should've just let her have the peace she had before I show up. Seeking for closure had only made it messier that it already was.

As I walk alone in this cold, and empty sidewalk, I can't help but be enveloped by coldness and devastation. The image of Yoko's vulnerable, yet still beautiful face remained tattooed in my mind. My heart and feet were struggling to continue walking straight, they wanted to run back to where I left her. But I know I shouldn't. I tried my best not to.

My tears kept falling, but they were dried up immediately due to the cold air that was hugging my face. My eyes were sore from the combination of non-stop tears and the harsh blow of cold night air.

I know what I said to her earlier wouldn't be able to erase all of the pain that I've caused her. It didn't made any of this better, but for me it was enough. For me to finally be able to say how much I love her, even for the last time, was more than enough for me.

At least this time, I was able to give her a proper goodbye.
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"Who the hell- Faye?!" was what Ize, my younger sister, said to me when she opened her door. She looked like she was about to punch the stranger who had just banged loudly at her door at this time of the night. "Are you trying to destroy my door?" she asked, visibly pissed. But as she took time to look at my state and appearance, I saw her features softening with concern.

"Hey, Izy, can I crash here tonight?" I said with a hoarse voice, my throat was dry from crying. I didn't wait for her to answer, and immediately barged in her door, going straight for her couch.

"Honey, what's - Faye! Are you okay?" my sister's girlfriend, Marissa, was obviously awakened by my loud knocking, sleep still visible in her eyes.

"I'm fine, guys. Can I stay here tonight? I don't feel like sleeping alone," I said as I settled in their couch, shielding my eyes with my forearm, away from the concerned looks they're throwing at me.

For a moment, there was silence. Silence which I couldn't bear, I could feel the tears forming inside my closed eyes. "No, no, please, just keep talking for me. I can't bear the silence so please, keep talking, turn on some music. I don't care, just...." I said with a shaking voice as I tried so hard not to cry in front of them.

Then a broken sob came out from my throat. I couldn't help but cry my heart out. The pain is too much, it was almost unbearable.

Yoko is gone now, for real.

I felt a hand touched my forearm, warmth radiating from her hand that gave me a little bit of comfort. It was Ize's.

"What happened?" her soft and comforting voice enveloped my ears which caused me to cry even more. "Talk to us, Faye. We're here, you don't have to go though this alone."

"She's gone, Ize. I let her go, for real this time. She will never come back. I lost her for good, and I-...." I paused to breathe, my eyes were still hidden from them. "I don't think I'll survive without her,"