Beat Of My Heart

Chapter Seventeen: Too Close

Chapter 17

"Where's Lizzie?" I said, panic in my voice. It couldn't be real. How could he be gone forever? Everything was going so good. 

"She went home. She is finally well enough and she just wanted to be with her family."

"And she knows?"

The doctors silent nod gave the answer.

"Where's Nate?" I asked through sniffs, realizing I hadn't seem him yet this morning.

"He took a week off of work," Dr. Reynolds sighed, "He took the news the worst."

"So he's at his house then?"

"Nate lives in an apartment."

I was used to this. I was used to losing people. First my three best friends, then my mother. I hadn't realized I had started crying until I felt my wet cheeks. 

I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't accept it. We were prepeared for Lizzie to leave us and we were all overjoyed when we found out she didn't have to. Anthony was doing fine! I shook my head at the thought. He was getting better and he didn't deserve to go yet. He needed more time. I needed more time. I just wanted to say goodbye. 

One after the other, the doctors and nurses began to file out. The bed beside me was empty and perfectly made. Anthony never made the bed. It was always messy and untidy. His belongings were already gone from his bedside too. I never got to say goodbye. 

The silence was deafening. I hated it. I hated everything about this room. In fact, it was the last place I wanted to be. 

I got up out of my bed and threw on my nearest pair of shoes. I had to get out here. I needed to leave. I grabbed my crutches from the side of the bed and walked out of the room, firmly shutting the door behind me. There was no one around, and I assumed that they were plenty busy with other tasks. No one would notice me gone. I was plenty well enough. 

I took the moment to my advantage, finding Nate's desk in the main room. The room was entirely empty. I searched threw his stacks of papers, trying to find what I was looking for. I realized I was completely overstepping any boundary of privacy Nate had, but considering the circumstances I think it was well justified.

Finally I found what I was looking for. I picked up the envelope with the return address being Nate's apartment complex. That was all I needed to know. I arranged everything on his desk back to normal and slowly exited the room.

"What are you doing?" A voice asked, startling me. I turned around to Ella, standing in scrubs while holding a clipboard.

"Uh...." I didn't know really how to explain myself, "Can you do me a favor?"  I said, hoping to distract her from any further questions of what I was really doing. 

And that's when I found myself in Ella's little car, on my way over to Nate's place. Who knew if it was a good idea or not? I thought about the time I had found out I had lost my best friends. Nate was with me the entire time and was only one with me to grieve. It was only fair I was there for him too, as much as I needed him for myself as well. 

"You know I could lose my job for this." 

"Really?" I asked, surprised. 

She shrugged, "Yeah, patients aren't supposed to leave unless they are checked out. I just figured Nate's done it so many times that they couldn't really fire me or anything. He does have the exception of being related to the boss though." 

"Thanks for doing this for me. I doubt you will get fired, but thanks for risking it," I said, being truely grateful for Ella. I realized during the entire time in the hospital I had focused on getting to know Nate. I never thought about her but I immediately regretted that I hadn't. Ella was the kind of person that was worth getting to know.