Heal Me

Chapter 6

  

    

   

Addy wasn't looking at him. He took the red lollipop out of his mouth and was now studying it with such interest. Twisting the short plastic stick between his fingers, the child peered with curiosity through it, completely ignoring Damon.

'Is he... afraid of me?' he wondered and got up frowning. For the first time, Evangeline showed him a forced smile and his eyebrows furrowed even more. Was there something wrong?

"Damon... how come you were here when... you know..." Evangeline quickly recovered and murmured the question that was bugging her ever since she thanked him. He bit his cheek in indetermination; should he answer her or not? Should he say the truth?

"Uhm... my house is just...there." he finally sighed and pointed at a tall beige building not far from where they were now. "And I was passing by, so..."

 

"Oh... I get it." Evangeline whispered as she squinted her eyes in the direction he showed.

 

All sort of different questions were running through her mind, but they were all there because of the same thing: why would he tell her that? Why not lie? Why not ignore her like he did so many times? ... She was now talking to him more than she ever did and that was rather unexpected and... overwhelming. One wrong choice of words and she could mess it up badly.

"Well then... thanks again, Damon." she smiled once more. He just nodded, looking at the child. Life was so precious... Addy repeatedly, furthermore painfully, reminded him that with everything that he did.

"We should-" 

 

"I don't want to go home, Eva." the boy mumbled suddenly, the candy back between his lips. He was so innocent and childish that Damon couldn't keep his eyes off of him. It was all his fault for longing so much for a sibling like Addy, a sibling that he would never have...

"Then what do you want to do instead?" Evangeline asked, wrapping her brown leather jacket tighter around her body. It was rather cold outside but she didn't want to ruin Addy's fun. She wanted him to be himself, no matter how he was...

  

He suddenly got excited, jumping up and down, and directed his gaze to the park where Evangeline first saw Damon. After spending the whole afternoon strolling, she did not realize that they wandered so close to it. 

"Come with us!" Addy grinned at Damon and tugged on both his and his sister's arm.

 

"You really don't have to, Damon."  Evangeline assured him immediately after and shot her brother a surprised look.

 

There was something about the way she was always saying his name... she made it sound pure, just like hers. In spite of the fact that it resembled so much the notion of creature of hell, Evangeline pronounced it as if it was worthy of an angel. He was far from anything like that, though...

 

Damon did not know what to say. The child was staring at him, smiling and reminding him of the same pair of naive eyes that he should have been able to see. It haunted him every day, every minute of his life.

 

 "I was headed there anyway." he finally exhaled, running a hand through his hair.

 

Addy's smile widened even more as he thanked him politely. He was adorable in his own weird yet innocent way and Damon would have smiled if he could... if he didn't feel any more sorrow, if he still wasn't grieving...

  

"He can get really excited at times." Evangeline smiled sheepishly as they began walking towards the park.

  

"Not even 'determined' is close to the truth. But... like sister like brother, right?" he asked, putting his hands in his jeans' pockets.

  

"Haha, how funny!" she replied sarcastically. "I know you have a soft spot for little kids, so don't even try to hide it."

"He masters the puppy look. How was I supposed to resist?" he shrugged and pushed the gate to the park. Evangeline stopped just for a second to look into his eyes, to search for even the slightest shadow of a smile. She found absolutely nothing.

  

How could he be so funny without even realizing it? He was like the persistent grayness of the sky after a storm. Even after it was over, everything remained broken, emotionless.

"Be nice!" she raised her voice as Addy hurried to the slides, leaving her and Damon watching from a bench. His eyes urged her to reply to the last thing he said and so she did.

 

"Yeah, he..." she sighed, her smile dropping. Her eyes fluttered closed and she stood silent for a few moments. She found it rather difficult to face the truth...

"It's hard... seeing him like this, I mean." she finally spoke lowly, twisting the gold ring on her finger.

  

"Wait... what are you talking about?" Damon leaned forwards but didn't see the tears welling up in her eyes. Evangeline licked her dry lips and took a deep breath.

 

"He has autism, Damon."

  

His head snapped up at her the instant those words rolled out of her mouth. The first thought that popped into his head was how he failed to notice that. Addy didn't look at the person who was talking to him, he sometimes couldn't verbally express himself, he certainly had no sense of danger and he nearly got killed because of that. So how come Evangeline didn't hug her brother as she did to him? She refrained from any major physical contact because she knew Addy didn't like it.

How could he not see that? How did he manage not to dwell on Evangeline's forced smile? He began to get used to seeing her with the brightest grin out there.

 

But how could she seem so happy? Until now, he sure that her life was perfect, that she could never understand what he was going through. But he was proved that appearances can be deceiving; a whole new bunch of questions filled his mind. Was she hurting? And if she was... how did she manage to overcome it? Or maybe the thing that could be done was to pretend everything was fine...

  

"Well that's an ice-breaker, isn't it?" she snorted and looked down at her shoes.

  

"It's not a disease, Eva." Damon murmured her name as soothingly as he could. He felt like she wasn't a stranger anymore. The biggest part of him screamed the opposite; she didn't know him, he had no idea who she was exactly and the rest should stay the same... for both their sakes.

"He needs nothing else but for you to understand him." Damon continued.

  

"I know. And that's what I'm always trying to do. Everybody deserves a second chance..."