Tough Love

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-six

This weekend wasn't very restful for myself or Eli. Seeing that guy, I can't even bring myself to say his name, but seeing him shook me more than I realized. I thought I was handling it relatively well, until I went to sleep. That seems to be when all of the problems hit me the most. I'm also worried about meeting with the Captain this morning. I'm nervous about seeing all of the guys, especially if or when I have to tell them I'm not going back. I don't want to explain and I don't want to see the disappointment on their faces.

Eli's voice snaps me back to reality, “You need to eat something, sweetheart. I know you're nervous, but you still have to eat something. It's going to be fine. Just trust me. I've got it all figured out.”

I mumble, “I'm glad one of us does...”

He chuckles, so I know he heard me. “I told you, I'm going to take care of you. It'll all work out, just wait and see.”

Instead of answering, I bite on a piece of toast. I feel a little nostalgic, so I say, “Eli?”

“Yes baby?”

“Can we have pancakes tomorrow morning?”

“Sure, why not? Like your mom used to make?”

I nod, “You remembered?”

“Of course. I wouldn't forget a detail like that. Can I ask my question?”

“Yes sir.”

“Do you know where your parents are buried?”

I was taken aback somewhat. I wasn't expecting a question like that. I thought he would just want to find out my history in the... brothel. I shudder at the name and remember I haven't answered Eli's question.

“No sir. I was in the hospital when they were buried. I don't even know if they had a service.”

“Didn't you try to find out?”

“Not really. I was so focused on getting clean and avoiding life that I just didn't do it.”

He sits in silence for a few seconds and then he says, “You ready to go?”

“As ready as I'll ever be. Do I need a jacket?”

He looks at me like I've grown another head as he says, “No ma'am. It's going to be like 92 degrees today. I think you can do without the jacket. You could do without the sleeves too most likely.”

I wince, I don't think I voluntarily do it either, but he notices it.

“What? What was that look for?”

“Nothing.”

“No, that wasn't a nothing look. That look meant something. What did it mean?”

I sigh, “I just don't like wearing no sleeves, that's all.”

He lets it slide for now, but I know that it's been stored under his 'things to ask later' tab.

It feels weird heading back to the precinct. Nothing has changed but somehow I feel like everything has changed. Ash meets us at the stairwell and he throws a soft smile my way. “It's good to see you girlie. How you doing?”

“Ok. You?”

“Better now I've seen you. You nervous?”

“Very.”

Eli's head snaps my way. I would never have offered that information before and he is proud of me. He does wonder where the change has come from though.