I scour the white-tiled cafeteria room for Josh, standing underneath the dusted white ceiling. I incoherently glance at the dark clouds outside, that make it difficult for anyone to act notorious while giving the 'night-school' feel to us, that makes my insides twist with unknown anxiety as I carve my way towards Josh, who is silently watching the other boys flicker a loud argument that I don't wish to comprehend. His eyes gradually land on me as he plasters on a gentle smile, that surprisingly, seems real, considering I haven't seen his real smile since last night.
I place myself beside him, ignoring the few quick glances that I somehow managed recieve. I suddenly question my actions.
Should I really be here? Does he even want me here?
"Hey", Josh smiles again.
"Hey..uh..So, how have you been...since last night?" I hesitate to ask.
He gently nods his head, before saying, "Couldn't exactly sleep...Look, I'm so sorry... you have to get involved.."
I shricken with shock as I realize what he is attempting to say.
" What do you mean "get involved"? Are you even involved in this ?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows harshly.
"It's nothing...I know that guy, thats all." He says, hastily.
"Josh, why can't you just tell me the truth?" I say, finally feeling confident in asking.
"What truth? Thats the truth. I just know that guy and he isn't exactly nice." He mutters.
"Obviously he's not nice. He was violating you and you almost killed him!" I shreik in terror, when I recieve yet another bunch of questioning glances.
I give them all a nasty hateful look, which causes them to instantly look away.
"Can we talk somewhere else?" He asks, in an attempt to convince me.
It takes me by terror of how ridiculous Josh is to me, right now. He seems so distant with all these insanely obvious lies. My mind slowly starts to wonder if the guy from last night is also the culprit to placing Court in this situation as I slowly drift away to that night I heard Josh screaming. I shake off the bewilderment as I realize it probably isn't as terrible as I am assuming it is.
After our this small encounter, I drag myself towards the empty seat next to Nina, my classmate in English, as I constantly glance at Josh and observe him through the corner of my eye, noticing the way he always tends to tug on that nasty scar above his left eye; the way he repeatedly shakes his legs; the way the soft brown strand of his hair falls on his smooth forehead as he instantly bites the corner of his lips that provokes his right eyebrow to swap up immediately in quite the rush and the way he always seems to glance at me every once in a while. It all just flutters my heart with such passion that I can feel the rush in my heart.
As I stumble through the school hallways to reach the main doors, as excitement fills me, I grow surprised by Josh, who is fiddling with the school gates as he constantly looks up and scours the mop exiting out of the school building with such blissful smirks on each of their faces.
I neglect the decision to ignore him, and tumble down towards his familiar fragile frame as he turns around and instantly starts speaking.
"Aby, I'm so sorry. I just...I'm...I didn't mean on hurting you." He mutters with wrinkles on his, then smooth, forehead.
"I...I just want you to stay true to me." I relpy as it hits of how honesty is the only option that I can take.
"I'm sorry. Can we sit somewhere and talk?" He asks with hope in his raspy voice.
I nod, as every vein in me beats rapidly with enthusiasm, yet terror that soon manages to root inside and rot without passion.
