dyad | ᵇᵒᵒᵏ ᵒⁿᵉ

²⁰ ⁻ ᵃᵖᵒˡᵒᵍⁱᵉˢ.

                                       ²⁰ ⁻ ᵃᵖᵒˡᵒᵍⁱᵉˢ.

                              "Sometimes, I just want to shut the world out."

❀

"I'll murder you! You sick, sack of shit! I'll kill you!"

I tried to hold Joshua back as best as I could, but he was on a war path, in a rage. His arms kept getting loose from my hands, and each time, I had to pull him back harder. His blood was boiling, and the other kids looked on in horror, including Mary. Joshua growled, trying to lunge at Calvin. Calvin didn't seem affected by his words, and I was sure that if Joshua was trying to rip my body apart, I would've peed myself. 

"Let me go! I'll bury you alive, you motherfucker. I mean that shit."

Calvin simply crossed his arms, sighing. He still had that same expression on his face, unamused and unimpressed by what Joshua was saying, well, yelling to him. I knew one thing about Joshua, and that was that he means every word that he says. Hearing him threatening Calvin like that sent kills down my spine, as I had a feeling that Joshua could actually do what he had said. It scared me. 

"Come on, pretty boy, try me." 

Calvin smirked, pushing Joshua's buttons even more. Joshua snarled, "I will murder you in your sleep. Don't you fucking touch her, again." Joshua turned around to me, the look in his eyes full of anger, and hatred. I hugged him, rubbing his back in circles while he took deep breaths. "It's alright, Joshua.." I whispered in his ear, trying my best to calm him. "I'll kill him..I'll kill him..I swear.." he grumbled. 

Mary clasped her hands together, "Okay, guys, go get ready for dinner." 

She shooed the other kids off, and they dispersed slowly, looking at the three of us, Joshua, Calvin, and me. Calvin chuckled, passing by us. "I'll be in my room, if you really want to wring my neck, Joshua," he began to laugh, his words laced with hatred. Calvin looked at me from the top of the stairs, and smiled, before heading on down the hall, his footsteps fading out. I made Joshua look at me, he still had that look in his eyes. 

"Joshua, I'll be fine, alright..just..try to keep your distance from him." 

He nodded, and we both went up the stairs. Coming into my room, I froze, staring at Calvin, who was laying back on my bed. He looked at me as I closed the door, giving me a smile. He made me absolutely uncomfortable. I hated that his smile was so charismatic, it was such a contrast from his personality. He sat up, cocking his head to the side. 

"How old are you, now? Sixteen, seventeen?" He asked. 

"Seventeen," I mumbled my answer to him. He nodded, "Four years, hm? You've grown so much." He sounded creepy. I pressed myself against the door, keeping my hand on the door knob, just in case that I had to run. I didn't take a rocket scientist to determine that I didn't trust him at all. I doubt anyone who was placed into the same room as their rapist would welcome them with open arms. Calvin was still staring at me, and it felt as if he was undressing me with his eyes, burning a hole through my body. It made me queasy. 

"I'm not going to rape you, if that's what you think."

I looked at him, and he sighed. Calvin simply shook his head at me, looking down into his lap. 

"Why are you here?"

He looked back up at me, raising his eyebrow. 

"What?" 

"You heard me," I said, "why are you here?" 

He got off of my bed, coming towards me. My breathing began to become labored as he walked right up on me, staring me down. "It's because I came for you," he whispered in my ear, pressing himself up against me. I pressed against his chest as he stared into my eyes, his hands finding themselves on my lower back. "What are the chances of seeing you again?" He asked, "And you're so grown up, now, baby. So gorgeous.." I wanted to throw up. 

Calvin caressed my face, kissing my temple. 

"You're mine. I'll kill anyone who says otherwise."

He left me in my room, leaving me to think about what he said. It sent chills throughout my body, and I got ready for dinner, still thinking over his words. Calvin was a sick, waste of a person. I was still very afraid of him, and I was sure that my nightmares would be even worse, knowing that my rapist was living under the same roof as me. Who knows what he could do to me? He said that I was his, and I had a feeling that he meant that. 

Dinner was tense, barely anyone saying anything. After the incident earlier, I think everyone was on high alert. I know that I was. King sat next to me, eating his food happily. He was getting big..he was already a year and some months old, and was now waddling around. Beside me, Joshua was simply staring at his plate, shaking his leg. I placed my hand on his thigh, and he looked at me. "Eat," I mouthed. He took a deep breath and began to eat, and I softly smiled at him. 

You could hear a pin drop in here.

It was just that quiet, and tense. 

One by one, the other kids began to leave the table, and eventually, I had to leave as well. I didn't really want to leave Calvin and Joshua in a room alone together, especially with dinning utensils. Joshua once showed me how he made a simple spoon into a weapon. Joshua was resourceful, and wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty. I washed the few dishes that were in the sink, King lingering between my legs, looking up at me. He had a soft smile on his face, and wrapped his arms around my thigh. "Yes, I see you down there," I smiled at him. 

I heard someone walk into the kitchen, and looking over my shoulder, Joshua took a seat at the table. I couldn't exactly describe the expression on his face, but it worried me. I finished washing the dishes, and picked up King, who screeched at me. "Can..can we talk?" Joshua asked me. I nodded, pulling him up, "Come on, you can help me put King to bed." We headed upstairs, and into King's bedroom. He insisted on taking his shirt off, but it got stuck on his head in an awkward position, and he began to whine. I helped him ease it off, and he clapped his hands. 

I got him changed into his pajamas, and kissed his forehead before tucking him into bed. Joshua and I exited out of the room, going to his room. I closed the door behind myself, and he plopped down on his bed, sighing.

"Okay, what's up?" I asked. 

He rubbed his face, looking at me. "You have to promise that you won't hate me."

"Why do I have to do-"

"Monroe..just..promise me. Please."

I nodded, biting my bottom lip. It made me wonder what he was going to tell me. If it was about him wanted my permission to cause bodily harm to Calvin, I couldn't give him a pass on that. As much as I would like for Calvin to get his face busted in, I couldn't let Joshua do it - at least, not around me. Silence fell between Joshua and I, and I moved to sit next to him on his bed. I took his hand, and gave him a soft smile. 

He wouldn't look at me though. 

And that was something new for me. He always maintained eye contact with me..what was bothering him so that he couldn't even look me in the eye? I doubt it's as serious as Joshua's making it out to be, it might just be a question about Ma-

"Calvin..Calvin's my brother, Monroe."