Suffering and Acceptance

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Short Narrative by Caroline White


Acceptance means more than just acknowledging pain and that it is organic.
Acceptance requires reflection so deep that it is also subliminal.
Taking it all apart. Laying on the table. Analyzing what fed into thoughts, ideas and ultimately actions.
Pain doesn't just happen.
It grows over time. It is a born and it overcomes you. It takes your identity and rearranges your priorities.
It doesn't just start with looks, or glares, or words. It thrives on silence.
It blossoms with blame and shame
It is manifested with hostility and more silence. And then, slowly, one unmet need at a time it's who you are.
Denial makes it unrecognizable in the mirror. The only person who can see it is that the person that feeds it.
They manipulate you into thinking that it's a reality that you created for yourself. And it's alarming to realize that, over time, you had no control over this because if you did -you would've stopped it.
You would've called out the lies, the sulking, the mistrust, the accusations, the belittling, the mocking, the excuses the...
WHO HAVE I BECOME?
One
Unmet
Need
At
A
Time.
At this point, it is just wise enough to know where it started and how it was nourished. And understand- the person who did this isn't bad. He's just broken.
It is who he is now too.
They only way to cut him off is to kill the roots that live in you.

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