Kind Crimson Eyes

A Loaded Question

"Please don't talk to me anymore.
I'm tired of you always dragging me down. You're pathetic. I can't take it anymore. Please, just go away."
Pity and disgust stain Kaworu's face as he pushes past me.
My stomach drops and adrenaline shoots through me as I turn back in his direction.
"Wait! Please don't leave. I'm sorry! I'll be better! I'll try harder! I'll do whatever you want me to...just please, don't go..."
Despite my pleas, Kaworu keeps walking, never giving a backwards glance. He's really leaving.
"Kaworu! Please...I'm sorry! I don't want to be alone again. I hate it! Please come back."
I start after him but he's already too far away. I run and I run and I run until I'm sick but I never get any closer.
He's abandoning me, just like everybody else..****

I jolt awake with a gasp, my subconscious unable to take any more torment. Hot, wet tears roll down the sides of my face and I quickly wipe them away with the back of my hand.
Rolling over, I quickly glance at the clock on the nightstand.
10:24am.
I slowly turn over to the other side of the bed, only to find it empty once again.
Having to fight against the soreness in my body, I slowly struggle to sit myself up and groan in pain as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. Once I'm standing, I tiptoe to the opened bedroom door and peek outside.
The house is silent.

"Kaworu?" I call out.

There's no answer.

I step out into the hall and call again.
"Kaworu?... Are.. Are you here?"

......
Silence.

And now my thoughts begin to race.
Did he leave?
When did he leave?
Is he coming back?
Is he going to wait until I leave before coming back so he doesn't have to talk to me?
Is he mad at me about last night?
Does he hate me and had to leave because he's disgusted by me?
Tears begin to well in my eyes. What if it wasn't just a nightmare? I barely remember what happened yesterday. Maybe he really did leave me...
I can't lose Kaworu too. I can't.

I pace frantically around the apartment biting my nails.
How long should I wait? Should I just leave now incase he's actuality waiting for me to go? Will he be upset if I'm still here when he gets back?

I hear an eerie scraping noise coming from out in the hallway. My heart quickens and I run to the door and quickly slide the chain lock closed. I don't even know why I'm scared. It's not like me at all...

Maybe I should try to call him. Or is that crazy?
I search back and fourth around the bedroom and kitchen for a phone. I left mine at home, but there should be a landline around here somewhere....

Suddenly, I spot it docked on the kitchen counter.
No recent messages or missed calls.
I know Kaworu's cell number by heart so I immediately dial.

What the hell am I doing?
I realize how insane this is, but I don't hang up. I grip it harder in my hand is it begins to ring.
-
-
Pick up, pick up, pick up...
-
-
"Good morning Shinji~." Kaworu answers cheerfully.
His voice is calm, pleasant. He doesn't sound angry or disgusted at all.
"Kaworu? Where are you?!" I ask, trying not to sound desperate.

"I'm just down the street getting us breakfast. I'll be home in a few. Is everything ok?" He replies.

"I'm sorry, Kaworu. I got scared...that's all." I swallow hard and try to slow my breathing.