I Am Ruined (TDA Lord of Shadows Sequel)

[ XX ] Fragile World

The roof of the Institute, always one of Mark's favorite places. His head was ringing after the confrontation in the kitchen. He knew Julian was just worried about the kids, he always was, it was nothing against Kieran personally. Still, the sheer rage that had filled Julian's eyes terrified Mark. Without knowing anything about the curse, Mark might have chalked it up to a bad day, but knowing what they knew made the situation much more fragile. The Seelie Queen had given them the enchanted circlets which should make him feel better, but he was suspicious of anything involving the Seelie Queen. He really wanted time away from everyone, just some time to think. So that brought him here to the roof, watching the sun as it melted into the line of the ocean. He thought of Julian's paintings, the way he would use the oranges and purples together in a way that seems odd in theory but came together beautifully. His heart ached at the thought of his family; Helen still exiled, Julian playing a very dangerous game with fate, Livia dead, Ty still hating him for it. He felt his throat choke up, but kept his mouth tightly shut, blinking away any tears that threatened to spill. He knew Cristina and Kieran would be looking for him, but neither of them had come to the roof. The thought of the two of them struck another chord in his chest, the two people he loved as his own soul. He almost wished they would be happy together and leave him so he would not have to choose. He couldn't choose, it would be like tearing his own heart in two. The sun had set completely now, everything one color, the only thing separating the sky from the sea being the bright stars twinkling high above. It was a clear night, reminding him of the nights in the Hunt. He found the six brightest stars once again and named them; Helen, Julian, Ty, Livvy, Dru, Tavvy. He named the brightest star Livvy, hoping that she was watching down from it now. Tired of sitting in the darkness alone with thoughts that pained him, he stood up and went back inside.

He was walking down the hall heading toward his own room. Despite how early it may be, he was determined to go to sleep. To shut out the dark thoughts plaguing his mind and quell the pounding of his head.

"Mark." A voice sounded from behind him, he turned and saw the familiar dark haired boy staring after him.

"Tiberius, is everything alright?" Ty began walking towards him steadily without a word. Before Mark had any time to react, Ty had reached him and wrapped his arms around his waist. It startled him, Ty did not like any excessive sort of affection. The only people he let touch him were Julian and Livvy, and maybe Kit. But here was his little brother, who he had thought still hated him, holding onto him like he was his anchor. Immediately, Mark wrapped his arms around his brother, pressing his face against his hair. Ty said nothing else, but Mark needed nothing else. He simply held his brother tight, letting the tears he had so tightly shut out fall silently.

***

Emma's mind raced, flipping through things to do. Demon patrol? Probably not the most imperative thing at the moment. Go for a run? Technically they weren't supposed to leave the hallowed grounds of the Institute, the Riders were still out there and still extremely angry. Training room? That would help. The thought of sleeping right now made her itch. In fact, her entire body felt hot and itchy. She felt herself sweating as if she had a fever, maybe she did. Maybe Julian was sick. He was probably in his studio, that was where he went when he needed to blow off steam. She wrapped her hands so she could practice hand to hand combat, dressed in training clothes. As she made her way upstairs towards one of her favorite rooms in the Institute, however, she felt herself growing more and more distracted. There were voices in her head now, saying things she couldn't quite understand, but drove her crazy nonetheless. Her body started shaking and she ran her hands through her hair to make it stop. She turned away, training sounded horrible now, and she found herself walking towards a familiar spot – Julian's studio. Before she even made the turn down the hall, though, Julian was in front of her. He was seemingly distraught, sweat glistening on his brow as well. So maybe he was sick, it would explain why she was feeling the way she did.

"Em-" His mouth opened to say something, but Emma couldn't control herself. In two strides she had her arms laced around his neck, her mouth planted firmly on his. He groaned into her mouth and grabbed her waist, his touch calming her frantic body and silencing the voices in her head. His grip tightened as he pushed her against the wall. He was murmuring against her lips, but she heard none of it. The desire had formed so quickly in her core and was threatening to drown her. She needed to feel his skin, her hands reaching underneath his shirt and pressing against his chest. One arm went around her waist and lifted her up while the other gripped her thigh and pulled it against him. A soft moan escaped her lips and it made him clench the fabric of her training clothes while she buried her hands in his soft hair. She pushed him off of her and he stumbled back in a daze. If he was worried she wanted to stop, that worry was put to rest when she grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hall towards his room. He grabbed her arm and pulled her close, kissing her fervently. They were stumbling backwards, giggling between kisses as they made their way to Julian's room. They finally reached his door and he reached for the knob with one hand, the other gripping the back of Emma's neck. After a few seconds of fumbling with it, the door swung open and they staggered inside in a flurry of kisses.

"Jules?" A small voice sounded from inside the room. Emma and Julian shot apart, breathing heavily and absolutely mortified to be found in the heat of the moment. By Octavian. "Hi Emma!" He shouted cheerily.

"Tavvy! What are you doing in my room, bud?" Julian fixed his shirt which had ridden up from Emma's hands. She was bright red, smoothing her hair down. Julian walked towards his little brother who had taken up residence on his bed among a pile of stuffed animals and a coloring book.

"What are you and Emma doing?" Tavvy asked, cocking his head to the side as he watched them.

Emma's blush somehow depended and she could see Julian trying to stifle a smile, "We were just kissing, Tavvy." He said sitting down next to his little brother.

"Kissing? Blech-" Tavvy made a face and then picked up his coloring book.

"I know, right? Girls are gross." He winked at Emma and she couldn't help but laugh as she moved to sit down on the other side of Tavvy, tickling him on the side.

"You think I'm gross, Tavvy?!" He was laughing now, curling into a ball and trying to fend off Emma's hands.

"No, no, no! You're not gross, Memma!" It was what he called her when he was too young to pronounce Emma, now he knew how to say it but liked to use it as a nickname sometimes. He was giggling and Emma finally stopped, picking up the book he had.

"What is this Tavs?" She asked as she flipped through the pages. It was a coloring book, but all of the pictures were still blank – white and black lines.

"It's my favorite book!"

"There are no words, do you like to color it?" She flipped through the pages again, still seeing no color.

Tavvy shook his head and took it back gently from her, "No, Julian reads it to me from the pictures. The story is always different!"

Emma looked at Julian and now he was blushing slightly, ruffling his brother's hair. "Did you want me to read it tonight?"

"Yes please, I had more bad dreams." The little boy's lip started trembling and Julian planted a kiss on his head.

"About your sister?" He asked. Tavvy nodded his head, tears welling up in his Blackthorn blue eyes. Julian held him tightly to his chest as he cried, whispering and brushing his hair back. "I miss her too, Tavvy. But you know she is always watching over you, right? You're her little brother. She'll always be with you, and so will I." The boy nodded against his brothers chest with a soft sob.

Tavvy had fallen asleep after awhile of crying, Julian lying down on the bed next to him and setting the coloring book on the night stand. He propped himself up on one arm and looked to Emma who was sitting on the side of the bed, braiding her hair over her shoulder.

"Do you want to stay?" He asked, his eyes bright despite the darkness in the room. She thought about it; sleeping here in his bed with Tavvy asleep between them warmed her heart. It made her think of the old days, when they would take care of him like he was their son and even now she could almost imagine that he was. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe they were testing the curse still. But if the curse was going to kill them, she wanted to remember being happy. This might be the closest thing to a family with Julian she may ever get, this fragile thing, and she would be grateful for it. So with a soft smile, she crawled under the covers on the other side of Tavvy and watched Julian's sleeping figure until the lull of sleep took her as well.