47. Embracing her in his world

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Swara come out of car and got shocked to see the person in front of her eyes as it was non other than Sanskar,..her heart felt happy to see him nd she smiled ,.she move few steps ahead toward him but stopped realizing something,.nd her smile faded,. making her eyes teary . Remembering his words that it doesn't affect him,.it doesn't bother him if she stay or go..she scold herself as why she always raise her hopes after seeing him even after knowing that it's nothing but just a illusion, .a beautiful dream of her life that will shatters  with reality..
But one thing she didn't understand why he came here,. It doesn't affect him,.she doesn't affect him,..her presence doesn't matter to him,.then thinking that he has came to stop her would be great mistake,. Thinking it nd breaking herself more would be a mistake as her heart can't suffer more pain.. but then why he came here? She look at him,.her face was blank,.not actually blank,.there was something,.a kind of pain,. A emotion, which she doesn't understand,.she was not able to read him for the first time,.or she doesn't want to do it,. She saw him looking at her continuously nd walking toward her.. but no,. She don't want to look at him more., To listen him.. thinking this swara take her steps back,.

Sanskar come out of the car ,he sees her nd his  felt he has get his life back,.He moved toward her, looking emotionally at her,. Nd sees her walking forward with a smile ,he felt sudden happiness in his heart,.but his happiness faded seeing her stop nd that smile on her face faded,. But he knew the reason,. Nd he curse himself for that,. He read her each and every expression nd well know her pain. Her inner conflict between her heart and mind, nd her mind was overpowering her,. His heart felt loosing it's beat when he sees taking her step back. He knows it will happen but he have to be strong,he can't loose her,. loosing her like loosing himself,. He would do anything but never let her go,. She is his life.. without her he is nothing,.  Sanskar rushed swiftly toward her seeing her taking her step back,.
Swara was  turn back taking her step back to reach her car but her hand was immediately held by Sanskar,. She got shocked, with his sudden touch,.nd then heard her name.
Sanskar; Swara,..( softly yet intensely)..
Swara didn't make any move ,she just remain like that only.. but ignoring him was a way more difficult for her,.
Not seeing any movement Sanskar asked; where are you going swara?..
Swara still doesn't turned but closed her eyes to stop herself from breaking down,.
Sanskar;( pain) now u won't even look at me,. am I that much bad? Do you hate me swara?..
Swara opened her eyes listening it,. She doesn't hate him,it's not right,. She immediately turned around..
Swara nods no.
Sanskar;  so you don't hate me,.
Swara again nods no.
Sanskar; then why are you leaving? Why swara?
Swara got shocked as now only she realized,how did he know that she is leaving,.
Sanskar; yes.. I know..
Swara look at him,.while he hold her both hands..
Sanskar; swara,. I m sorry,. I m sorry,. I know this word can't heal the pain I gave to you,. I did a grave mistake of my life nd for this I m not saying you to forgive me,. Pls punish me,. You can do whatever u want,.u can give me any punishment,I will happily take it but not this,. Don't go please,.( His words gets heavy)

Swara was not getting why is he stopping her,.but was feeling emotional by his words,.But remembered something nd take her hands back,.
Swara ( sign) no,. I m no one to punish you,. It's your life,. You got ur love back and you choosed ur love,.it's not mistake,.I was never more than a friend to you,.nd why should I stop,. You only said it doesn't matter to you,.whether I stay or go..( smiled sadly with tears)..

Sanskar understood her each and every word and it was piercing his heart,. He remembered how he said he is not affect with her presence.. then choosing his love who came back in his life instead of her,. Not supporting her,.avoiding her,. It doesn't whether I stay or go,..

Sanskar: ( teary eyes) really swara? Do you think that it doesn't affect me,. I don't care whether you stay or not.,. m I such a heartless person,. ? No swara,. I m also a human being,.I also have feelings,. I have heart,. I thought in this whole world whether anyone understand me or not but you will,. Cause I never needed to tell you what I want to convey,. You always understand me,. But that also not your mistake,. I m not blaming you for anything,. But pls don't tell that I don't care about you,.it doesn't matter to me,..cause it does,. It matter to me., It affect me,.if you stay or go,. Nd you know why because I LOVE YOU.. I love you DAMN IT..  I can't live without you,.
Swara looked at him shocked with tears,.
Sanskar; yes,.I do,. your presence affect me,. Your ignorance affect me,. I feel myself special to get you in my life,. It affect me when you come close to me,. Your smile makes my day,. Your sadness kills me,. I want to live my whole life with you,. You meant world to me,. You can see my happiness in my eyes,. But can't you see it's reason which is you,. You heard when I say that you don't affect me,.but can't you hear my heart,which beats for you,.  I love you swara,. I love you a lot,..pls don't go. Pls don't leave me,..pls...

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