The Healer And The Boneless

Chapter 4

*Warning: rape mentions, possible tiggers as well! Don't read if this makes you feel uncomfortable*

Vikings had just finished packing their things onto their ships. They left behind a country I no longer recognized. They left chaos, heartache, and broken things, way beyond repair. I was tied to the middle of the boat. Ivar was placed on a special chair right behind me. As we sailed away, our boats filled with men and stolen gold, I stared with tears in my eyes as I was once again ripped from something I had grown to love. I began to believe that maybe things aren't meant to last forever, and I tried to be content with that. Though, much I tried, my heart just wouldn't accept that.
Ivar didn't speak to me for much of the trip. He only addressed his brothers. His change of moods was confusing to me, and I had a feeling this might grow into a problem. Yesterday, I could have sworn he was angry at the way his brothers spoke about me. From my experience, I've never been a "free women" men own me. My thought, my body, my words. Men sold me to other men as if I was just a toy. Not once have I ever seen one get angry when they spoke about sex with me. Ivar did. I swear he did. But, now on the boat, I'm tied. I haven't been feed water and my mouth is dry and men keep touching me. Ivar hasn't done anything to stop them.
Being out in the ocean scared me. Being surround by water, and no land in sight gave me a deep sense of anxiety. If the ships sink, and I'm tied to this piece of wood, there's no way I'll be able to escape this. I looked up at Ivar, and he was tied even by his chest and I fear more for him. His head was held high as he stared straight ahead. His eyebrows were drowned close, and he was focused, it seemed as if he was guiding the boat with his mind.

"What are you staring at, Nia?" He says suddenly, my throat was tight, and my lips were all chapped and filled with blood. I've lost track of time, and the days, I haven't slept, and if I have I don't notice it. "Water," I say my voice is raspy and gone by now. Bjorn is the one who feeds me the water, but also the same one who said he wanted to have fun with me. I stared into his eyes as I drank the water he gave me. I drank fast and desperately. I am so grateful for water. Bjorn took the water away from me slowly and I inched closer to the cup begging for More. Instead, he throws the cup to the side and laughs before sitting away from me and staring me down.

Ivar stared back at Bjorn with the same serious face he has. I fear it. I didn't worry about my bloody lips, I know they heal fast. I just prayed that Ivar wouldn't notice. He hasn't noticed that the bruise and have lasted less than a day. I prayed that no one did because then they'll think I'm a God, and I'm not.
       The sea made me sick, the waters were calm and the rough, the waves would crash inside and soak everything. Ivars mood swings reminds me of the way the ocean behaved. 
           We arrived in their homeland early in the day. People were cheering for this arrival, and within the crowd people waved things, napkins, clothe, shinny objects that catches the suns light and reflected on us. The boys and Ivar cheered, they hit each other chest with a great force. They parked the knorr by a wooden bridge. Ivar was untied and off the knorr first. In fact, everything was unloaded before I was. I prayed that Ubbe would come and untie me, I saw Hvitserk return but he dismissed me and just reached for one more bag behind me. I kicked and asked to untie me, but he speeded down to the hill and into one of cottages.
          Then he came. No one was there to stop him. I was alone and vulnerable. Ubba, Ivar, And Hvitserk were all inside celebrating their new shiny objects. They had completely forgotten about me. Ivar had forgotten about me. Bjorn tumbled over, a knife on hand. His shoulders were slouched and his eyes were dark. He untied me, I was started to stand but he placed a hand on my chest and forced me against the wood, "if you scream, I will cut ya throat." His lips were inches away from mine and he spoke in a whisper. I smelled pure alcohol on his lips.  I closed my lips and tried to control the unshakable fear. This meant, he wasn't drinking water  half way over here, it was liquor. He grabs me by the hand and pulls me towards him. I was following him. I stared at the large cottage where I heard music, and people singing, I heard Ivar scream and then right after people cheered. Bjorn's grip on my hand was hard.
            When I was a child, I believe I was in Spain-the memory is receding me I can't remember clearly...there was this family I was assigned too as a servant. The women had many children and her husband was always hungry for something. The women drowned herself in a river. I was left there with a new born and 4 toddlers and the hungry man. The first night he did it, I was told to keep quiet or no one would take me in as their servant and I would be forced to do it with men  worse than him. It did not happen a second time. I will not allow myself to be used by such a monster in such way. I had said no. I had kicked. I had screamed. I had pleaded. I had begged. I swore upon myself I will not beg no more, I will not scream, kick, or plead. But I will fight until he stops, because I will not.
               Anger filled my bones, as we reached his cottage, he throws me on the bed and begins to slowly undo his pants. He smiles at me. He is having fun. He likes this. His breathing is heavy and the more I hear it the more it makes me want to stop it.
"No." I say, but he maintains the sinister smile. Then he does it. He bends down to pick up my dress, and he slides his dirty hands up my thighs, I take no chances and I kick him on the groin. He screams out and falls to the side, I make a run for it, I was able to open the door, and run towards Ivars cottage. I kept running and I could hear his heavy boots slam against the hard ground, he was chasing me. I was no longer angry, and I no longer felt brave when I heard his steps. Every sense of confidence I had, has left my body.

———————

Thank you for reading,
       Don't forget to share, like and comment!
Should I make a tumblr for this fanfic? I can answer questions, and even give updates about the story! Tell me what you think first! <3