Part 42

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"It is enough to know, too much to see."

- Sally Gardner

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"Okay, I understand what you are saying. But, I don't understand how getting the Death Note made him go from zero to one hundred so quickly." Azeem sighed in confusion.

"The Death Note didn't make him go anything. He was already crazy." Michael argued.

"No one is just that type of crazy." Azeem disagreed.

"You can't corrupt what's already been corrupted," Devon said jumping into the argument.

"Can you guys just shut the fuck up? I'm trying to actually watch the show." I said tiredly.

They all turned to me.

Michael, Devon, and Azeem had shown up about two hours ago.

The four of us sat in my tiny hospital room trying to watch Death Note on Netflix. Emphasis on trying because for the last two episodes they had been too busy arguing to actually watch the show.

Though I wouldn't admit it, I was glad they were here. I really needed my friends right now. Heck, deep down I was happy just to hear them bicker with each other.

I didn't even mind the fact that Michael brought Azeem with him. Azeem was a pretty cool guy once you get used to his weird sense of humor.

"Right, sorry," Devon said awkwardly before quickly looking away from me.

The one thing I didn't like about them being here was that they seemed to be walking on eggshells around me.

It bothered me. I wanted to yell. I wanted to scream at them that I was still the same guy I was before all this happened. But, I was also afraid. I was afraid they realize I wasn't the same guy anymore.

So I guess I can deal with the eggshells for now. At least they weren't crying.

Everyone seems to be crying a lot lately. Everyone seemed to also think that the recent events were their fault somehow.

It was no one's fault but mine. No one forced me to do what I did. I made a choice, one I regret, now I have to deal with it.

The thing I regret the most was the way I hurt everyone around me.

I always felt so alone that I forgot that I wasn't.

I sighed. The three of them no longer looking at me.

We fell into a tense awkward silence. The only sound being Azeem's laptop.

Even though I was the one who made the choices that brought me here everyone else seemed to be stuck on the fact they didn't notice I was falling apart until it was too late.

Out of my friends, I think Devon was taking it hardest. He couldn't even seem to look me in the eye.

I looked away from Devon to Michael.

Michael seemed to be trying too hard to pretend everything was okay.

And, Azeem. Well, for the most part, he's acted pretty normally. He was a bit weird when they first came by.

But, I think that has to do more with the fact that before this we didn't really know each other and because of his relationship with Ashley. Whatever that relationship may be.

Since meeting him he never mentioned Ashley, but that didn't mean that I forgot the first time I met him he was leaving her house shirtless.

I still wasn't sure what to think of Ashley. She hasn't been back since the day I woke up.

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