Thoughts

“I… I really like you… and… and I was wondering… if… if… maybe… you’d like to go… to… the… the… uh... the dance… with… with… me?”

That was me, in high school as a sophomore, asking Anna West to Prom. Who is Anna West, you ask? I’m surprised you don’t know really. But I shall explain.

Annabel Kimberly West is the epitome of beauty in Westbrook High School. Her very presence is the true definition of fine art possessing the breath of life. Her topaz colored eyes is a constant flow of everything beautiful about the gemstone to begin with. Her golden blonde hair is a mirror copy for the shades used by gods in Olympus itself. I have seen her morph from a cute girl when she was six to a breathtaking beauty now that she’s fifteen.

In short, she is the prettiest fifteen year old girl I have ever seen in my life of seeing fifteen year old girls.

She also happens to be the height of coolness in the entire grade, and the girl I have decided to ask out for prom.

Right now she’s looking at me like I’m that piece of gum under her shoe that she can’t believe she’s stepped on. I probably shouldn’t have asked her to the dance in the lunch room where every individual in the entire school conveniently gathers to watch one another’s demise in love or social statuses.

Oh, and maybe eat once in a while.

Let me explain her look to you real quick. I consider myself a prime example of what the male species is supposed to be. I get average grades, wear fashion savvy clothes. Keep up to date with the dos and don’ts in the school. I also have a bunch of friends whenever and wherever.

The problem comes in when social status becomes the evaluating standard.

… there is no easy way to say this…

I am a nerd… through and through. I have these dorky glasses that I have tried, almost six times since I got them now, to ditch because they almost always hide the fact that my eyes are way bluer than anyone can tell. My hair is an impossible mess that will never stay flat on my head no matter how hard or long I comb it. Don’t even get me started on my tan. If I was 6’ 1”, super strong and had an insatiable thirst for blood, I would have been considered handsome… beautiful even.

But I am not Edward Cullen… I’m Just Edward Jones. I’m 5’ 7”, super lanky and have an uncanny habit to always end up in situations where I will be the cause of gales of laughter all around me. It’s not always self inflicted as now.

But just looking into Anna’s eyes… suddenly I don’t care even if I’m in the cafeteria a.k.a ‘The Social Killbox”. It suddenly seems like this moment in itself is enough to validate why I would risk public humiliation.

Didn’t Edward do anything for his Bella?

He did. And that’s what I’m trying to do here. My life has always about fact and statistics. But I can’t explain what happens when I see Anna. I don’t know what this is. It’s not the same kind of affection I have for my friends.

Definitely not the same for Stacy.

So what is this?

Could this be love?

“Oh… my…. God! Anna just got asked out to prom by Edward Jones…”

I could literally see the shame burn red on Eddie’s face when my friends started taking the mickey out of him.

I don’t even know when he got here. I was too pre occupied with the piece of gum I just found under my shoe. Like really? Someone just chews gum and throws it on the ground when there are about a hundred and six dustbins in the school? Lame.

Anyway… back to Eddie…

I know. You are wondering why I’m calling him Eddie like I’ve known him for all my fifteen years.

Well… I actually do.

But from a distance.

Edward Jones is about the only boy in my grade who doesn’t look at me and see what the fame has done to me. Every boy, from my grade to the seniors, only wishes to have me beside them for fame or social statuses. I haven’t had a real friend since I was in Elementary with… you guessed it… Edward Jones.

I know he probably doesn’t remember much from then, but we used to do everything together.

I can’t believe that he’s still wearing those glasses. He used to complain so much about them. I think they make his face seem even more angelic than usual.

Wait… did he get taller?

Definitely.

He was 5’ 3’’ when we stopped talking. Why did we stop talking again? Oh yeah.

I became a popular girl and he wasn’t content with leaving the safety of his nerd cocoon. I don’t get why he even wants to be a nerd. He could easily become the coolest guy her if only he put enough effort to his lifestyle. It’s like… like he didn’t want to stay friends with me anymore.

But why is he asking me out to prom and not Stacy? I thought they were going out. Diana told me that she saw them last week at Cabi’s Café.

Why am I even thinking about this? Eddie doesn’t deserve to have Anna West as his prom date. He should learn never to test his social status in the Social Killbox. Maybe then he’l understand how it feels when the person you like pushes you away…

…

…

But I can’t do that.

He probably doesn’t know it… but I love him.

Wow… Anna West is in love with Edward Jones. Talk about PR stunts.

The problem is I’m not sure if Eddie, whose life is so governed by math and science, can understand that I need him to love me back.

A/N: Thank you for reading Thoughts. I thoughts it best to have one story about actually thoughts about two opposites... And what better opposites to exolore than thoughts of love. Drop me a line in the comment section and let me know what thoughts occupy most of time in a day.🙌✌