Loser's Guide on Getting Laid (Huniepop Fanfiction)

13

Momo and I arrived home. The kitty was amazed at my apartment. It was big, warm and cozy. Better than living in the cold city.

"Alrighty...you did say your a kitty, right?"

Momo: Yes, Master.

"Okay, cool. I'll be right back. Just sit on this chair."

After a few minutes in the bathroom, I walked out, picked up Momo and return to the bathroom.

Momo: What is this?

"This is a bathtub. You know, for baths."

Momo: No! I don't want a bath!

After what seem like a half an hour, I was totally soaked, but Momo was fresh and clean, wearing a robe because I had her underwear and kimono washing along with my clothes.

"Now, you're fresh, clean and warm."

Momo: Uh, Master...

"Just call me Nicky."

Momo: Ni-Nicky, I gotta pee.

"Go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet. Like I showed you."

The Human/Kitty hybrid went into the bathroom. I went over to my refrigerator, got out three bottles of beer, chugging down two of them.

Someone knocked on the door. I answered it and saw Ricky with his gold realtor jacket on. He looked at me like I threaten his little brother.

Oh yeah, I did.

Ricky: You know why I'm here.

"Fuck you for telling your brother my business."

Ricky: So threatening to rip his limbs and face off is acceptable?

"I'm sorry, man. But next time, don't tell him my business."

Ricky: I won't. Now, can I use your bathroom? I was stuck in traffic.

I step aside for Ricky to come in and rush to the bathroom.

I sat on my coach, downing a bottle of beer. It was 3 in the afternoon, but it was 5 somewhere in the world.

There's some things in the world I question about life: Is there a God? Will I found happiness in the world?

Then, earlier today. One question in my head I keep asking myself, including right now.

Ricky: NICKY, WHAT THE FUCK!

Ricky ran over to the couch with Momo following behind.

Momo: Master, he went in while I was using the bathroom.

Ricky: Nicky, who is that?

"Momo, meet my best friend, Ricky. Ricky, meet the reason I'm drinking right now."

Ricky looked at the kitty like I was when we met. Confused and just...confused.

Ricky: Nicolas, she just called you master.

"Yes, Ricardo. It is what you think it is."

Ricky: So...3 women?

"3 women?"

Ricky: Are you dating 3 women?

Dammit Felix! He must've thought Nikki was my girlfriend from our show.

"Uh, no."

Ricky: Okay good. I know you're dealing a lot since Natasha, but you're better than that.