Sidney Quinlan is the 35-year-old father of two, the loving husband of a stay at home mom named Janet. He works as a dentist at his own office and has his own parking spot. He doesn't live an exciting life. Or at least he didn't. Not until he meets...
Janet and I sat beside each other, but I couldn't look at her, all I could do was look out the nearby window and wish I was somewhere else.
Scott had texted me after I had left the car, wishing me luck. And at this moment I felt like I needed it. "Sidney, Janet. We have a lot to talk about today, I would like it if we could move your chairs for this. If that's alright with you." Dr. Bennett said Janet and I stood up, Moving from the couch and grabbing two chairs. Dr. Bennett told us to set them across from each other before telling us to sit now. This was the worst. I went from trying to avoid looking at my wife, to sitting right across from her and having no choice.
Janet sat there, with a worried look on her face, but when she saw me staring she gave me a shy smile, I tried to smile back at her, but I couldn't. My hands wouldn't stop shaking as I took a deep breath. "First," Dr. Bennett started, wheeling her chair so she next to us, in the middle. "I want you two to share something you like about each other. Sidney, you go first."
I looked at the doctor, biting on my lip before turning back to Janet, I wanted to reach out and take her hands, try and reassure her. But I couldn't even reassure myself, I couldn't stop my knees from bouncing or my hands from shaking. "Well, I love that you're understanding, and forgiving, you're selfless and it's something I admit about you."
"Great, that's perfect, Janet it's your turn."
"Hm," Janet started, smiling softly at me. "I love that you do anything for our family and that you sacrifice so much for me and the children."
"That's great. Sidney, I would like you to tell Janet something that bothers you about her. It can be as minor as you'd like."
Well, this was awkward. "I don't like it when you don't cut your toenails, and then scratch my legs. It grosses me out."
Janet laughed, nodding her head. "I don't like it when you shave your face and leave hair everywhere."
"Good, now. I want you both to remember these things. Sidney, when you're ready I would like you to tell Janet what you told me."
This was it, I felt like I was choking, my heart was in my ears as I looked at Janet's face, everything felt like it was tilting, the blood rushed from my face. This was the most terrifying thing I've ever had to do. I took a deep breath, trying to catch myself. "Janet," Another deep breath, this time I did take her hands, I held them, her eyebrows raised as she looked at me, the shaking not stopping. "Janet, I love you with every fibre in me, you're the mother of my children, you've been my whole world. You're my support system. You're everything to me. And I'll understand if you don't want me around, I understand if you don't want to see me. I'll give you all the space you need. But-" I stopped, trying to control myself, everything felt like it was closing in and I could pass out at any moment.
"Sidney, what is it?" She asked softly, I haven't even told her and she had tears building in her eyes, I could only assume she was thinking that I was going to tell her I was cheating on her with another woman. I wish it was that simple, that was something we could fix.
"Janet, I'm gay."
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