little mate • alpha pack

7 | little like the blackness

' for it didn't want us to see its inner war '

*WARNING - THIS MAY TRIGGER SOME PEOPLE*

GENUINE SMILES BEGAN TO SPREAD ACROSS Mia's face in a matter of weeks. As she continued to live her life with her stupid adventurous friends around her, the brunette felt herself grow into a stronger and healthier person - both physically and mentally. She was happy again. But nothing ever lasts.

The brunette stood in front of her bathroom mirror, her body bare. She switched on the shower tap, allowing the sound of water drops hitting the ground to echo around the room. Slowly the window began to fog up, Mia's vision becoming slightly blurry. Once she blinked a couple of times, Mia pulled open her marble drawer under the sink, her familiar tools once again in her vision. She promised she'd never do it, but promises are always broken.

Grabbing the familiar blade, Mia felt the familiar cold surface that brought her muscles to relax, something about it made her mind stop working and stop over thinking. She brought it up to her face, her eyes taking in the blade before she glanced at herself in the mirror.

Scars littered all over her body, they were healed over, but the colour change was very obvious. Some were deep while some were just light scratches, but the deepest cut was the one in her heart because it was able to cut it in half, tearing it apart into tiny pieces and discarding it everywhere.

When Mia looked in the mirror, all she could see was brokenness, hurt, pain, sorrow and the list could go on and on. When other people look at her, all they can see is her, her reflection. But that's because they can't see her true self, her inner pain because she hid it from the world. Afraid of what they would think of her. As Mia cried her bottom lip quivered, the same as a baby pushed past endurance. Her eyes became glacier blue under the sheen of water, constant, yet allowing the tears to flow without pause. At that moment, in seeing her own reflection, she understood the depth of pain that had been sitting below her skin.

Grabbing the blade, Mia rose her arm and pressed the sharpest part onto her skin, the sharpness of it already cutting past a few skin cells.

"MIA!" Hearing the familiar voice of Ennis, Mia sucked in a breath. She pressed harder, watching the tiny droplet of blood form, something that made her feel a bit more relaxed.

"Mia, please stop it," Kali said as she pressed herself against the door, her heart breaking along with Ennis. The couple was the one watching the brunette and could feel what she was about to do before she even did it. As their bond grew, the pack could feel Mia's emotions. "We'll help you, sweetie, just come out of there."

"Shut up!" Mia cried, pressing harder on the blade. "No one helps. They only make it worse. Depression isn't something you can put a band-aid over and say it'll be okay. Because news flash! It won't!" The brown-haired woman started to feel weak, tired as tears fell down her face. "Depression drags you into this pit and never lets you go. No matter how hard or how long someone's rope is they throw to get you out, something always cuts the cord, so you plummet back down to the ground. You get hurt with each attempt to get out, more and more dirt covering you as you try! Why can't you see that! There is no band-aid large enough or absorbent enough to cover it." Her voice took on a more gentle tone. "And I just want to let it all go... I don't want to be stuck in that pit anymore; I want to be in the field of flowers right outside the hole... I want to be free." She fell to her knees, a few tears falling from her brown eyes. "I want to be happy, but can't find it. It's like I'm playing hide and seek with someone all the way across the world and winning will let me be free. It'll never happen..."

"We want to help," Ennis said again, just as confident and as desperate as before.

"Were you not listening? Help doesn't wo-" She was silenced by the fist punching the wall from outside.

"We want to help, Mia," Kali said as she placed a hand on her mate's shoulder, calming him down. "And we will climb down into that pit ourselves to get you out if needed. I want you to smile again and will not take no as an answer." She was stunned. "You're too important to lose; no one should leave you alone again."

"You're too late." Mia breathed out after a few moments of silence. She pressed the blade down into her skin harder and sucked in a breath, pulling it down harshly.

"MIA NO!" Ennis kicked the door open once he heard the faint whimper of pain coming from their broken mate. The couple gasped in horror when they saw the amount of blood pooling under the brunette, who collapsed onto the floor.

"I'm so sorry," Mia whispered as her eyes fluttered shut, her whole world swallowed by the blackness that welcomed her with open arms.