Her Legacy

XII. Colder

"Never hide things from hardcore thinkers. They get more aggravated, more provoked by confusion than the most painful truths." Criss Jami

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Chapter XII – Colder

I didn't hear from Shea again on Saturday. He never replied to my texts. He never called me back. Not even Cece texted me back.

And it took all my willpower not to message Zoey to ask if she had seen Shea at all today.

I tried my best to put on a happy face for my mom. Today was clearly important to her. We got blowouts, we saw the movie. I wasn't concentrating, but I made sure the laugh when she did. She then took me out to lunch at this little Italian restaurant that she told me she had been frequenting for lunch.

By the time we'd walked along the main street and shopped in every little boutique that Mom pulled me into, it was nearing dinner time. Mom asked if I wanted to find a restaurant for dinner, but I opted for fast food on the way home. She obliged me.

It was clear that Shea wasn't going to be joining us for dinner anyway.

"Are you okay, Sara?" Mom asked me quietly as we drove back towards Providence.

"Yeah," I lied.

"You know you can tell me if something's wrong," she urged.

I stole a glance at her, but she was looking at the road. "It's Shea," I admitted. "He hasn't talked to me all day. I don't know, I'm just a little worried." Little was an understatement.

For a split second, I could had sworn she smiled. But it was gone so fast I was questioning whether I'd really seen her do it. "Oh, honey," she said sympathetically, "teenage boys are never reliable. Best to wait for college to meet someone. Someone mature, a pre-med, or a pre-law student?" she suggested.

I mean, I knew she wasn't Shea's number one fan, but she had sure given up on him quickly. It pissed me off. "Mom, a little support would be nice," I snapped.

"I am being supportive!" she retorted, huffing. "I'm telling you that you shouldn't worry yourself over a silly high school boy when there are bigger and better things to look forward to in your future!"

I wasn't going to get the kind of support I wanted from Mom. Unless I was in the mood to bash Shea for being a member of the male species, she wasn't the person to talk to. I needed a girlfriend to talk about my boyfriend problems. But Cece wasn't answering either.

It was incredible how I had gone from such a big high last night, to feeling so flat and miserable today. I freaking hated this. Shea had honestly better hope something had happened to him because he couldn't be this much of a jerk on purpose.

I immediately took that thought back. I felt horrible and guilty for it.

When Mom pulled into a drive through, I mumbled my order for a cheeseburger and I held our food on my lap as she finished the drive back to our house. But I wasn't really hungry.

Mom was still acting like today had been the best day ever. She put our food on plates and flipped through the DVR before settling on something to watch. I placed my phone on the arm of my chair so that I could see it if a message popped up. I didn't have the sound on. I didn't want Mom saying anything if she heard my phone chime.

I practically jumped out of my skin every time an email came through for some website I was subscribed to or if a new show had been added to Netflix. And disappointment filled me every time when I realised it wasn't from Shea.