Her Legacy

XXV. The Talk

"When I hear somebody talk about a horse or cow being stupid; I figure it's a sure sign that the animal has somehow outfoxed them." Tom Dorrance, True Unity: Willing Communication Between Horse & Human

---- 

Chapter XXV – The Talk

"Mom, I need to ask you about something."

Mom was standing at the sink, rinsing off our dinner plates. She was still wearing her work pants and a button-down shirt, but she had unpinned her hair, allowing it to fall down her back. She had had a good day today, which was why I was hoping that she wouldn't freak out when I asked her this question.

Mom turned off the faucet and turned to face me, simultaneously drying her hands on a dish towel. "What the matter, hon?" she asked me.

"How do you know when you're ready to have sex with someone?"

Mom's green eyes widened to the point when I could no longer see her eyelids. Her jaw dropped, and her face paled. She looked as though she went through about six different sets of emotions before she was able to compose herself enough to answer me.

"Sara, have you ...?"

"No!" I answered quickly. "No, I was just wondering."

Mom breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, I suppose if I'm talking as a woman, and not your mom, then I would say that you're ready when you can fully trust that person, trust them with your whole self. You love them, and the person you're with brings out the very best in you.

"But as your mom, honey, don't rush into anything. And don't feel pressured at all. Take it from someone who knows. With Daddy and I, it was a whirlwind. We rushed everything, all the firsts. So much so that it was a blur a bit of the time. I wish we had waited and made things a little more special than they were.

"And as your doctor, sex leads to kids and diseases. Are you ready to be a mom? Are you ready for routine STI testing? Labour, crying, night feeds, cracked nipples, stretch marks, excess skin, a teenager who asks you terrifying questions?"

Mom was barking scary words at me rapidly. But she had answered my question. Did I fully trust Shea? Did he bring out the best in me?

I thought so, but my apprehension told me that I wasn't sure yet.

Mom sighed. "I meant what I said about birth control," she said, referencing an earlier argument that we had had about Shea. "I understand it's different. You feel different. The connection isn't normal. But pregnancy is. I'm making you an appointment." Mom then wandered off, no doubt in search of her cell phone.

Great. I had that to look forward to.

I did the same thing. I had purposely left my phone in my bag upstairs. I had been avoiding speaking to Shea after everything that had happened today. As soon as I checked my phone, I saw that I had a missed call from Shea, and a text message asking me to call him when I could.

As soon as I saw that, I could feelthe restraint in him. He had wanted to check on me, but he wasn't allowing himself to in order to keep pressure off of me. I needed to put him out of his misery and stop punishing him for his nature.

I also needed to stop being such a wuss, as my nerves were directly affecting his insecurities and I didn't want that.

I tapped his number and he answered on the first ring, like always.

"Sara," he breathed, though sounding hesitant.

"Sorry it's so late," I whispered. "I've been thinking a lot about what happened today."