Her Legacy

XXIV. Reassurance

"A man's spirit is free, but his pride binds him with chains of suffocation in a prison of his own insecurities" Jeremy Aldana

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Chapter XXIV – Reassurance

The bell rang, and I told Cece I would see her in English. I quickly ran into the girl's bathroom and called Shea. I needed to communicate. I couldn't stew on these fears and questions I had, and would no doubt keep having as I further understood their world.

As always, Shea answered on the first ring. It was something that I was quickly coming to love about him. "Sara?" he breathed.

"Ihavetogotocollege," I blurted out all in one go.

"What?"

I took a deep breath. "I have to go to college, a four-year college," I said, slowing down my words. "Not just because my mom would drag me to one, but because I want to. College is important, and I might get into one out of state, and I want that to be an option for me. I don't know what you expect of me, or need from me, but I need you to know that."

"You're going to college," Shea replied quietly, but confidently. "You're too smart not to. I don't know what Cece said to you, but you have no obligations to our pack. You are my mate, but you are also human. I couldn't make you do anything that you didn't want to. I would never do that."

I wondered if my mom had had this same conversation with my dad. She stayed in Providence after high school to be with him. Had he told her not to go?

"No matter what you decide, or where ever you decide to go, I will be in the front row cheering like a lunatic when you get that diploma. My burdens aren't yours, Sara. I don't get to choose. I could never take your choices away from you."

Shit.

But this time, it was a good shit. As in shit, Shea could be so incredibly selfless. And in turn, I felt so incredibly stupid. Shea was not going to hold me back. Just like my dad would not have held my mom back if they'd managed to communicate properly.

And just like Shea wanted more for me, I wanted more for Shea. To not have choices at eighteen? That wasn't right. That wasn't fair. The world was supposed to be at our feet at eighteen.

We were silent on the phone for a minute or two, and I already knew I was late for English. But I didn't feel like going now. I had never skipped a class in my life, but I really couldn't force myself to care about prose right now.

"If you could be anything, Shea, anything in the world, what would it be?" I asked him quietly.

"I would be the kind of man his family can depend on," he replied effortlessly. "The kind of man that a college educated young woman could respect and love."

I caught sight of my reflection as he said those words, and I saw my pure reaction. The touched emotion was written all over my face.

"I love you," I whispered, without realising the words had escaped my mouth. They came naturally, and my heart realised them before my head did.

I loved Shea. Maybe I was delusional in convincing myself that it was too soon, that I wasn't ready, that I wasn't there yet. But I was. I had been for a while. Maybe I had been from the start. I loved Shea, and I didn't think I would ever stop.

I heard his breathing stagger on the other end of the phone as he heard my words. It made me smile uncontrollably. I loved him. I loved him. I couldn't stop my brain at this point.

"Braverman!" I heard a voice bark in the background. "Is that a cell phone?"

Oh my God, Shea was in class. I didn't think he would answer if he was in class. Then again, I was supposed to be in class, too.