Youth

#10 - Day Ten and Some Time to Think

    [Y/n] stared at the drawn curtains of her four poster bed. Their pretty crimson colour yesterday morning reminded her of a royal cloak; now - while her tired, disturbed mind played tricks on her - they reminded her of the stomach of a monster that had swallowed her whole, this monster's skin thin enough that small amounts of light could permeate through and into its internal organs. Pulling them back, flinching at the blinding white light as the monster birthed her, and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, [Y/n] walked over to her door which she proceeded to lock. She wanted time alone. She couldn't deal with anyone or anything right now. After locking the door, her back slid against it as she lost herself in memory.

    That breathless feeling.

    She never wanted to feel that again, yet - for some strange reason, she had a suspicion she would. It made her feel sick.  Glancing to the bed, she momentarily considered getting back in and redrawing the curtains, hiding in the embrace of the creature's silken stomach once more.  How kind the creature was to give her such a comfortable stay in its body.  Though, she looked away again soon enough.  She didn't want to just spend her life hiding from things greater than her.

    [Y/n] stared at her hands that were wrung together and twisting one another nervously.  Perhaps she should eat?  Maybe he would appreciate that.  Maybe he wouldn't get mad at her again if she just followed his advice.  'What?  No... what am I doing?  That guy tried to kill me... he kidnapped me for heaven's sake!  Why would I then try to make him happy?'  She placed her hands against her head, gently gripping her scalp.  She quickly let go, however, after the memory of Nyais' hands around her throat flooded her mind once more.  No, she didn't want to make him happy, she realised.  She wanted to diffuse.  She was afraid of him.  Fuck.

    "No..." she whispered.  "No, no, no, no!" Her cries were muffled by her knees as she pulled them close to her chest, but they were still audible enough.  Moments later, a knock sounded at her door.  [Y/n] sucked in a breath, not responding.  She couldn't be afraid of him!  He'd know!  He could hear her thoughts, what if he decided against saving her?!

    "[Y/n]?" came a small voice.  She immediately recognised it as Laion's.  "May I come in?"

    [Y/m] shakily got to her feet with a nod (though she knew he couldn't see it) and unlocked her door, pushing down on the cold bronze handle and opening it.  The caramel-brown haired boy stood there with his arms full of sprigs of lavender and rosemary, causing [Y/n] to furrow her brow.  The smell of them hit her like she'd walked into a wall instead of opened a door, but it was so very pleasant.

    "Seishin gave me a book on herbal medicine," he began quietly, "because of my room and stuff, he said I could 'put myself to use'... I read that rosemary and lavender can help with stress.  Why don't we put it around your room?" he tilted his head with a small apologetic smile.  [Y/n] managed a smile back, slowly nodding her head.  This wouldn't make him mad, would it?

    "Y-yes, we can do that... thank you very much, Laion," she said, stepping aside so the small boy could come inside.  He placed the lavender and rosemary on her bed.  [Y/n] walked over to her bed and sat beside them, taking in the strong aroma.  It was relaxing.  She could feel her anxiety ebbing away as the two mingling scents enveloped her like a warm blanket.  She jumped a little when she felt something touch her face, before realising that Laion was trying to situate a spring of lavender behind her ear.  He eventually succeeded and the soft smell of lavender lingered close to her.

    "It looks pretty on you," Laion smiled, before taking some rosemary and lavender and travelling around the room, placing it here and there, slowly filling the whole room with the herbal aroma.  "The book also recommended roses and sweet peas but I don't have enough of those to put in here, sorry," Laion frowned.  [Y/n] smiled distractedly, her hands clasped around some rosemary that eventually scented her palms and wrists.