Getting To You (Azucarera Series #2)

Kabanata 26

Kabanata 26

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Nagmamadali akong pumasok sa bahay pagkatapos ng ilang minutong pag-iyak sa loob ng sasakyan. I even had to retouch just so my parents won't realize what's up.

"Ayos ka lang, hija?" si Mommy pagkatapos kong humalik at magmano.

"Pagod lang, Mommy," I said with my rehearsed answer.

Ilang beses na akong nasugod sa ospital dito na hindi naman nalalaman ni Mommy at Daddy. Siguro dahil alam ni Ate Soling na ayaw ko nang mag-alala sila. But sometimes, the news will reach them the next day and they will overreact. This time, I don't want to tell them anything since my tears are all ready to fall.

"Magpapahinga lang po ako."

"Sancha? Naku, you should rest. Katatapos mo lang sa busy weeks mo sa Cebu at inakala kong uuwi ka para makapagrelax na riyan sa bagong business mo..." nagpatuloy si Mommy.

"I just need a little rest, Mom."

I cried the whole time while I was on my room. I have no other excuse but my "not-feeling-well" alibi. Ayaw kong lumabas at mapagkita dahil nasisiguro kong tatanungin ako kung bakit namumugto ang mga mata ko.

Hindi na ako pumunta sa cafe at dumiretso na ako rito. Naiintindihan naman ni Ate Soling iyon. At nang tumawag ako na baka hindi na muna ako papasok bukas, muli niyang naintindihan 'yon.

"Naku, Sancha? Sigurado ka bang okay ka lang? Ba't ka pinalabas ng ospital kung hindi pa pala maganda ang pakiramdam mo?"

"Umayos na naman ako, Ate. I'm just making sure that I'm completely fine the next days so I'll take this time to rest."

"O sige. Ako na ang bahala rito kaya huwag mo nang alalahanin, okay?"

"Thank you, Ate. Sorry ulit."

"Ayos lang 'yan. Kagagaling mo lang ng Cebu. Dapat nga matagal pa bago ka mag-ayos dito para makapag bakasyon ka naman."

My excuse seems working for Ate Soling and my parents.

Hindi tumigil ang luha ko. Pakiramdam ko kasi, sa totoo lang, ako nga lang talaga ang hindi pa nakaka move on. My parents barely remember what happened years ago, my siblings are now more busy with their families and would choose to forget what happened, the Salvaterras are now happy and content. I am honestly glad for everyone. Pero bakit parang ang bigat pa rin sa pakiramdam ko? Bakit parang ako lang ang nanatiling nakatira sa nakaraan?

No matter how much I try to convince myself that I should move on and forget about it, I still couldn't. Maybe seeing Alonzo successful and happy right now would help. That's a step. My guilt will be lessened because although I ruined his life, he still made it... successfully.

Siguro rin tama si Ella. Maybe the reason why I haven't moved on was because unconsciously I want everything to stay the same. Because my feelings... for Alonzo... stayed the same.

"Miss Sancha, si Madame po nagtatanong kung hindi ka ba bababa para sa tanghalian n'yo?"

"Pasensiya na, Manang. C-Can you please just send me my food here? I'm still not feeling well. Pakisabi po kay Mommy."

"Si Sancha ba 'yan? Gising na ba?" I heard Mommy's voice.

Umakyat siya rito! I've got no choice but to open my door widely. I'm still in my pajamas and, although I'm not crying anymore, my eyes are still bloodshot from all the crying.

"Mommy, good afternoon. Pasensiya na. Hindi na muna ako pumasok para makapagpahinga."

"Kung hindi sinabi ng Kuya Manolo mo ngayon na sinugod ka sa ospital kahapon, hindi ko pa nalaman! Care to explain, Sancha?"