Tyri was an orphan with no home. She never really knew her parents and barely managed to survive in the woods alone. She was fierce and strong, she had to be to survive, but people still scared her. All she wanted was to be left alone. After years o...
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Life is never as you plan it to be. Nothing ever goes the way you want it to. You can do as many calculations as you please but you can never account for the actions of others. They will always disappoint you. And your hopes will become no more.
It was a cold morning. Frost had settled upon the ground. Over night, my warm fire had gone out and so I just shivered under my furs. The sky was still dark, not a sound could be heard above my tired breath that left icy clouds in its wake.
"Tyri." A voice whispered, making me stir in my slumber, "Tyri wake up!"
I jolted awake, stating at the hushed voice. It was Helga. I looked at her in confusion before beginning to dress myself. Clearly, there was no time to waste. I armed myself with my bow, arrows, and daggers. Something felt wrong.
"Helga, what's the matter?" I asked.
"There's no time to explain, I'll tell you as we walk. But you need to leave this place. They'll find you." She told me.
I cocked up a brow, unsure what she meant, "Who will find me, Helga?"
"The people that killed your parents." She replied.
I had never told Helga about my parents or my past. I myself didn't even know who killed them. So how could she? Unless, she knew my parents too. As we walked, I became restless. I needed to know what was going on. This grim morning was no time to walk through the woods searching for a girl, so why would anyone be after me? What was going on? After a long silence that drove me near madness, I spoke up. I had to.
"Helga, what do you know of my parents? Tell me what is going on." I demanded. And so, she obliged.
"Your parents were both warriors, they were good friends. Your father sailed west with Ragnar, your mother fought side by side with Lagertha. We all loved them as family, but they were not. And they were not your blood either.
"Your mother found you on a raid to England. Thora wanted to keep you, you were just a child and your parents were both dead. You cried and cried and cried, none of the other warriors could stand it. Even your father wanted to leave you behind. But when he saw you in Thora's arms, something changed in him. They both took you home and raised you as their own. It didn't matter that you were born a Christian, they vowed to love and protect you anyway. They raised you as one of us, and so to them you were one of us. But many in the town disagreed. The night they killed your parents, they were looking for you. That's why I've kept you safe all these years, I've told you to stay away from the village and remain in the woods. But when Hvitserk started coming to see you, people got suspicious."
Her words were like poison to my ears. I was not a Christian. I was viking. I'd always been viking. And my parents were the people who raised me, the people I knew. To hear anything else was outrageous. I couldn't stand it.
"It's alright, if we get you somewhere else, you'll be safe. I'm sure Lagertha would care for you in Hedeby, and no one knows you there either." Helga plotted.
But all this information was so much to hear at once. My entire world was turned upside down. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. Everything I believed my entire life, was wrong. And all I could do was run. It wasn't right.
"Helga, I can't go to Hedeby. This is my home, here. I can't leave!" I answered her finally.
She gave me a sympathetic look, "I know it's hard, but if you don't leave they will kill you."
The truth was, I wasn't afraid of leaving my home. It wasn't the places, the surroundings. It was the people, or more specifically the person. I didn't want to leave Hvitserk.
I'd spent so many years avoiding attachments so that if I needed to, I could leave without guilt. Yet, here I was, terrified of leaving someone I'd only met weeks before. In my mind, all the risks of staying were worth it if only I could just say goodbye.
But life never works out as you want it to. I thought that maybe I could make a home here in Kattegat. I thought that I'd be safe here. I was wrong. For me, there would never be a home. There would never be somewhere safe. For ten years, I hadn't been living, I'd been surviving. And surviving was all I could ever do. There was no hope for a better life, no hope for happiness or comfort. In fact, I didn't feel anything anymore. I killed to live. I ran to live. I did everything just to prolong my existence. But what was the point if I just kept losing my humanity at every turn? What was the point if there was nothing left worth surviving for?
I'd lost everything.
It was dark when we made our way to the docks, the sun barely reaching over the bleak hillsides. Not a sound could be heard in the desolate night, only silence filled the air. Helga helped me into one of the boats, her hand resting gently on my cheek. For a moment, I wanted to hug her, to wake up and see it was all a dream. But as much as I yearned for an awakening, it never came. This was reality, and reality sucked.
"Astrid will take you to Hedeby. You'll be safe there. Perhaps now you'll get to be the warrior you wanted to be when you were a girl." She smiled.
"Thank you, Helga." I spoke gently, holding onto her hand. "I will never forget all that you have done for me."
"Stay safe." She spoke softly.
I felt the tears now welling in my eyes as I looked at her with a half broken smile. It hurt to say goodbye to her after all these years. Everything about the previous events hurt. Everything about me was wrong. I knew nothing. I felt lost.
"We have to go." A young dark-haired woman (whom I assumed was Astrid) told us.
I nodded, knowing she was right, before whispering softly to Helga. "Tell Hvitserk I'm sorry. Tell him-" I paused, not sure if I could actually say the words.
She smiled knowingly, "Don't worry, he knows."
And with those words, our boat slowly began to sail into the distance. When all hope was lost, and I thought everything I knew and loved was gone, I heard a familiar squawking over head. Down fluttered the beautiful feathered wings of my companion. And what a welcome sight she was in such a terrible moment.
