Chapter 10

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I was not a woman easily tamed

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I was not a woman easily tamed. It had been many years that I had spent in solitude and in the wild. It seemed, as I was amongst the wild, the wild found a home in me. And soon we became one.

I was a woman with fire in my veins and the ocean in my heart. I had poison on my tongue and lips of wine. My eyes were the ice that scorned the world, though their colour remained as warm as the forest. I was stable like oak, fierce like a wolf, cunning like a raven, and wild as a girl.

The other shieldmaiden in Hedeby disliked all this about me. I struggled to work with others and follow orders. I still slept outside under the stars at night and only ate food that I'd killed myself. I'd go on long walks away from the town, getting to know the terrain. It was similar to my home, easily recognizable. And it wasn't long before I felt at home here too.

Lagertha, however, had never been like the other shieldmaiden. She smiled fondly when she saw me acting in such ways, as though it was a sweet memory on the tip of her tongue. In me, she saw freedom. In her, I saw strength. And, overtime, I learned her ways and showed her mine - although I could tell she was well accustomed to my way of life. It was as though she'd lived it before too.

The other shieldmaiden were ambitious. Too ambitious to be trusted. All of them had dreams of becoming Queens, of leading, of gaining great fame. Lagertha knew that was not my dream, and so she trusted me. When I closed my eyes, I didn't see myself on a throne with people worshipping me. Power was a burden, it tied you down and molded you into a monster. No, when I dreamt, I dreamt of vast uncharted lands. I dreamt of sitting under the stars and looking out to see the land with not a house in sight. Just miles and miles of freedom.

Some people think the world ends with fire and with brimstone. Others believe it ends with ice. I've heard many stories of how the world will end but I only believe one is right. For what is more dangerous than a woman who's lost everything? Those beautiful Valkyries that live amongst men. The day they seek their revenge, that is the day the world ends.

I walked inside the great hall at Lagertha's request. It had been almost two years since I began calling Hedeby a home, and in that time I had found Lagertha to be all I truly had left. She told me stories of my parents, of everything they did. My mother was a friend of hers, a shieldmaiden that fought under her. My father was loyal to Ragnar Lothbrok, but that did not mean he was unloyal to Lagertha. She knew them both so well, and yet she hadn't seen me since I was learning to walk. Upon hearing of my parents, Lagertha had wished to raise me. But she never found me. No one did.

"You requested me?" I asked politely.

She smiled, gesturing to a seat, "Please, sit. It has been far too long since we last spoke."

"That's because, when last you spoke, you told me you planned to invade Kattegat." I answered.

"And I still do." she began. "Queen Aslaug has taken more from me than I ever had. She took my home, my husband, my title. And, despite all that, here I am. An Earl. I have made something of myself. But it is not enough. I dream often of my home. And then I hear how it is being led. Kattegat is defenseless, my people and my home are unprotected.  And why? Because it's queen is too weak to lead. When my son Bjorn leaves Kattegat to raid, I will take back what is rightfully mine."

"And what about the other sons of Ragnar? What will you do with them?" I asked, now fearful.

She answered, "My quarrel is not with them, it is with their mother. I will not kill them if I do not have to."

"But will they not try to stop you?" I replied.

"Hvitserk is leaving with Bjorn. That leaves Ivar, Sigurd, and Ubbe. We have plans for Ubbe and Sigurd, do not worry." Was her response.

Bit my fear was not with Ubbe or Sigurd. My fear was the one person that she had not accounted for. "And what about Ivar? It is foolish to assume he is weak because of his legs. I've met him Lagertha, he's intelligent. I would not fight him if I didn't have to."

"Then I won't, unless I have to." Was her response, but I was still unsure that she understood the true magnitude of the situation.

As fearsome as Lagertha was in battle, I feared Ivar would become a worthy opponent.

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