With unsteady feet and shaky breaths
my heart skipped a beat
as worries flooded through my head
I found myself second guessing every movement
every expression
every
word
that I had spoken up
until that very
moment
My lips had become numb
and there was an all too familiar raging tightness in my chest
I was trying my absolute best to seem composed
all the while
my vision started to go
I was experiencing tunnel vision
and flashing fairy lights
I felt as if I wasn't actually there
but instead
in a god awful dream
With my thoughts racing and feet shifting
it felt as if my whole world
was crumbling
and I couldn't control this
at least not this time
It took everything I had
every
ounce
of energy
that was left
willpower
and emotions
to not physically
and mentally breakdown.
But I've realized
that somethings are out of my control
The most prominent thought that rung in my head was
"Why is this happening to me?"
because after all
I should be able to control my raging anxiety and emotions right?
Not even my confidence could prevent or control my unforgiving thoughts.
This is a feeling that I'll never forget.
Feeling as if you're powerless
a slave to your own mind and thoughts
which evolve into unwanted actions
The feeling of watching your world crumble around you
yet you have no power to change anything.
Rather
you have no option but to try your absolute best to not crumble
underneath the searing gaze of people
which takes
every
ounce
of energy
left
to do so.
But this I knew
was simply out of my control.
- a pov, through the eyes of me.
YOU ARE READING
Ode To Thoughts ✓
PoetryA book of thoughts. "We are the authors of our life. Although we can't always change what's happening around us, we'll always be able to change what we are in control of; where we are headed, who we become, and how we react to the circumstances tha...
