This is a letter to you
I've spent the last three years
devoting my time and my energy to you
You said you were beyond saving
but I've never seen it the same way you do.
I just can't help but wonder
..did I not do enough?
...Could I have done more?
You were a beautiful disaster
in every way
I just couldn't help but think
that I might wake up one day
to see a letter that spoke of your goodbyes
Which eventually happened multiply times
And every time this happened
my heart would drop
everything within me would stop
But each time
I've always somehow managed to get to you before you've done anything
I would counsel you into thinking a different way
I would tell you that
I'm always going to stay.
Which I did
I always did
Maybe that's why
I couldn't leave your side
I was afraid of what would happen to you
if I did
And you see
I was limitless
The only way I could possibly help you
was to be there right next to you
"...My life is not worth your tears,
I can promise you that"
But how could you
possibly say that to me?
You don't know the strain
that it's put on me.
I know this isn't about me
and it's solely about you
And I can't imagine the
things that's been done to you
But I just can't help but
be selfish
because I loved you.
I would've done anything
to take away your pain
and I tried.
I desperately tried
I couldn't help but
give this disease
a fight
on behalf of you
..I tried doing it for you
Maybe one day
I'll be able to look you in the eyes
and tell you
I can understand why
But right now
I truly don't
I made you promise me that
you would survive this
"You know I can't ever promise you that
but I will try"
I was practically begging you at this point
but I eventually found out
that my efforts
were
simmering
down
to
nothing
Eventually nothing I said would change
the way you were thinking
Nothing I did to change your mind would
I guess there's not much else to say.
But I'll end with this
I would like to say
I am sorry
I am sorry for
whatever I could've
possibly done wrong
I'm sorry for the way this
world has treated you
Now till this day I wonder
what could I have done differently?
Maybe it was truly something
that I couldn't prevent
maybe this outcome was out of my control
I don't think I'll ever know
YOU ARE READING
Ode To Thoughts ✓
PoetryA book of thoughts. "We are the authors of our life. Although we can't always change what's happening around us, we'll always be able to change what we are in control of; where we are headed, who we become, and how we react to the circumstances tha...
