Another Love Story (editing)

Chapter 3: "He's for Lin, Not for Addie"

After class, I went home and had roast beef for dinner. Of course, I had to go through another one alone as the rest of my family was far too busy to join me. I just chowed everything down and dragged myself upstairs. I did my homework, checked my mail, washed off, jumped in my night gown and threw myself into bed. I closed my eyes and for the first time in my life it wasn't Ralph’s face I saw but Eddie’s.

Eddie's. What the furry mammal. Should I freak out?

I arrived at school, same time the next morning. Still having nothing to do, I continued my sketch on the playground. It was almost done when Eddie greeted me kindly, “Hey there, early bird.”

“Look who’s talking,” I replied rolling my eyes wearing a sarcastic smile.

“Relax! It’s still early, that’s no way to start the day,” he said not wanting me to get mad. This only earned a chuckle from me.

“What?” he asked as I laughed.

“You should be the one to relax. Can’t handle sarcasm, can you?” I continued to laugh and he seemed relieved.

He sat down beside me and we talked and talked, mostly about Lin (partly about me).

Lin and I are supposed to be total opposites. She hates bugs, they seem amazing to Addie. Lin has good fashion sense; Addie is supposed to be bad at it (so on, so forth.)

Pretty soon, classes had to start. He accompanied me to my class room and then left. I watched him weave through the crowd with as I wore a smile on my face. He fetched me for lunch, and again, we talked about Lin.

Days passed, then weeks, and the same cycle happened. We meet in the morning, talk about Lin; meet at lunch, talk about Lin; meet after dismissal, talk about Lin. I had to make up stories about Lin. I made Lin his most ideal woman ever, someone I’ll never be. But I couldn’t help not to fall for his deep distinct voice, his glossy black hair, and his sensitive personality. But I had to stand back, and let him fall for Lin; after all, he’s for Lin, not for Addie. Too bad he’s falling for a perfect girl who never existed.

Few months later, we became close friends, and he considered me as his best friend. We hung out a lot more. He saw how I just couldn’t resist not eating spaghetti once I saw or smelled some. He saw how I turned green when I saw chicken curry. I saw how he gets somewhat drunk simply by accidentally slurping some chowder soup. Funny how it seemed, but I had a feeling that he didn’t look as me as a friend anymore. But I knew I was just building false hopes.

One winter morning, it wasn’t Ed who came first but Abby. She informed me that Eddie was at home, sick with a fever.

“What?” I said, worried.

“Don’t worry,” she reassured me “it’s just a bad cold. No biggie." I sat down beside her and sighed,

“Thank goodness.” My hand loosened from clutching on my chest.

“You really like him, don’t you, Addie?” She looked at me, her eyes soft as if she was concerned about it. As if I was just signing up for suicide. I knew that. I knew this is yet another hopeless case. Except this would be worse than with Ralph. Because this time I got to know Ed in and out. And I had come to terms that it was never going to happen between us.

I looked at her and half smiled, “I do, I’m not supposed to, but I really do,” I could've denied it. But I figured my attempts to conceal my real emotions were proven futile. After all, she did notice despite the fact that I have been covering up my footprints. Or at least tried. My smile turned into a frown as I continued, “But I know he’ll never be mine.”

“How sure are you?” Abby asked, raising her brow at me. She almost seemed like she thought I was being ridiculous.

“I’m 99.9% sure.” I answered.

“Well, there's that .1% chance. You’re the only girl he actually hangs out with solo. When we talk about you a smile always sticks on his face,” Abby pointed out.

“He’s just using me to get to know Lin,” I said looking away. It was true. And now that I spoke it out loud, it became just so real. It was like saying it out loud meant that I finally admitted it to myself, like I stopped being blind, like I stopped denying myself the pleasure of being loved because of me and not just because they needed me for something. Saying it out loud meant for the first time, I actually allowed myself to be used. Just for the sake of keeping him around, I allowed myself to be used.

“No," she pursed her lips, "he’s using Lin to get to know you.”

“How’s that even possible?" I shake my head, stubborn that what I said was true. "After all, he hasn’t even talked with Lin at all.”

She simply shook her head at me like I was missing the point. “Think about it," she said, standing up and walking into the school, leaving me alone to think about what she said. I didn't exactly know what to think after she left me hanging.