Dear Diary

Chapter 4

Germany will never be a friend to me.

Dear Diary,

Well, we built ourselves a life. Were having a small Flat. My Father got a job as an Author. Max and I are going to a German school. Today is our first day. Im excited. Really excited.

Your Evelin

Evelin, Max! Come on you have to go to school! Father shouts. Its 5 AM. Way too early for me to get up. Not for Max. Hes talking to me while he is standing in the Bathroom, looking at the mirror and feeling confident. I wish Id feel like he does.

Come on Evelin! Get up. It is the first day! The beginning of the end I think. Were both going to the kitchen. Grandmothers standing in front of a big pot. I cooked rice pudding for you two. She says. Happy first day of school. She doesnt sound really happy with the fact, that shell be alone at home all day long now. I think school will be great! Ill meet new friends and everything will be fantastic!

I dont think so. I say. Why Evelin? Dont be so pessimistic! Max answers. I have my own Opinion Max! Im not always so happy and stress less as you are mostly. That felt good. Max is looking really sad now. Im sorry Evi. I dont wanted to be mean to you. Its all good. Dont feel bad Max. You are good person.

The way to school is not that long. By the way has our carriage not arrived yet. Thats why Max and I have to go by foot. Now he also looks a little bit nervous. I think he really deserves to be happy and to have friends.

I think were arrived. Max whispers. I look up. Were standing in front of a big House. It looks a bit like a church. On the top is a big flag. Its red and white. In the middle you can see a black cross. Max says. He is always explaining me the things that I cannot see. This cross is on many Places here. I asked Father about it be he didnt give my an answer.

Kommt mit . A Man says. Hes really small and he has got an black suit. The black suit also has the cross on it. Max whispers. Max and I follow him. After three minutes walking were arriving a door. Its like an office. Geht da rein. The man says. Were going. Good Morning. Im the director of this school. A second man. But hes way taller than the first one. And hes speaking English. Maybe theyre siblings. I must concentrate to not laugh. From where are you? he ask. Were from England or better said from London. Max answer. Im glad that hes talking. I could never do that to strangers.

From England? Good that youve accept how dirty that Country is. Welcome to Germany. Well Im the only one here who speaks English. You have to look where you at. Good Luck. He smiles a little but I dont like this smile. It says: Go away I never want to see you again. Were going out of the office. The small man is still standing there. Kommt mit. Hes speaking German. It sounds kind of funny when you say it often. Kommt mit, kommt mit, kommt mit.

We follow him and he shows us our classroom. Rein. He really isnt talking much. We enter the room. Its a class full of Kids and Teenagers. Theyre all looking at us like were some aliens. Max whispers again. Guten Tag. Klasse? Das sind Evelin und Max. Sie kommen aus England. Begrüßt sie. The teacher says. Guten Morgen Evelin und Max! The class says. I hear some people laughing. Maybe Its because were coming from England. The Country that theyve attack. I would also laugh. But I am the refugee. Setzen. The woman says. Her finger shows to two chairs in front of her. Were sitting down.

Lesen, was auf der Tafel steht. She shows with finger to a board. I guess its a blackboard. Thats my end. I cant even see what stands there. Wir hören. Excuse me Mrs but I cant see the Blackboard because Im nearly blind. The whole classroom laughs. Rede Deutsch mit mir. Sie nicht sehen kann was steht auf der Tafel. Sie ist fast blind. Max says. Since when does he speak German? Good that he reads so much German books. Wenn sie nichts taugt soll sie zu den anderen kommen. The teacher says. What does that mean? I look up to my brother. She wants to give you to the camp. Oh I really like camps! Can my family go with me? I ask. The class laughs again. I dont understand this. Die Polizei wird gleich da sein. She says. Wait, stop! She didnt do anything! I mean, Sie hat nichts getan! Max shouts. Suddenly someone is opening the door. Ruhe! a policeman says. Du kommst mit mir. What does he want from me? The Teacher shows with her finger to me. What does this mean? I say. But the policeman is pulling me out of the class. I hear Max screaming. Leave me alone! I try to act like the girl on the landing stage. Stupid Germans. But I guess they cant understand me. I try to scream. Its scary.

I open my eyes. Im in a car I guess. But its really dark and even if I try to, Ill never see whats going on. Thats what I said at the beginning of my story and thats what I mean. Komm mit. I dont know how many times I heard that sentence. I think it means Come with me or something like that. I follow the man who said that. Were going over a field. Were reaching a big bus. or a train. Im not sure about that. Where is my family? Where is Max , where is Father and where is my Grandmother? Where am I? Its really dark. Someone is pulling me in the train. Let me out! I scream.

Hello?

Let me out!

What about my family?

Be quiet. Someone behind me says. Were just going to a camp. Its for people like us. Its healing us. Thats what they said. Who said this? Hitlers slaves? I scream. Dont say his name! And I guess you mean the soldiers. But no, He said it by himself. The soldiers just do what he says. They dont want to send us to a healing camp. Never. Hes not as nice as they all say. Im looking around. I dont see really much but there are very much people in this. Theyve all do something. I got here from school. It was my first day and my teacher said Taugt nichts. I dont know what that means. Im also nearly blind. And why do you also speak English? I ask the girl. Well, Im one of the only ones in here who speaks English but I also know a little German.

Taugt nichts means that you cant do anything in school. They dont want you to be there with them. Disable people are not allowed to live with the normal people. When youre blind, you have to go with the other disabled people in here. I lost my leg for example. My Friend Catherine cant hear anything. Were worthless. That makes sense. Its also really unfair. Just because were disabled we must go to camps like these. Im glad to live in the camp soon but the journey is really long. The girl says. Are there animals? Im really excited and its going to be fun! Someone else says. I see a candle someone turned on. Well, nice to meet you all. My name is Evelin. I say. Hello Evelin. Were going to have fun together The girl answers.

The journey is really long as the girl said. The train is not a really great building. Sometimes the rain is coming down and were all getting wet. But thats not so bad. After like five hours the train stops. I hear really loud voices. Theyre screaming something in German. What are they saying? I whisper. I also dont understand. The girls answers. She trambles really hard. I give her a hug. I maybe know her since five hours yet but were all in the same situation and we have to be there for each other.

The door is opening.

Those Men again. It looks like they want to kill us. Aussteigen.

One man says. Im going out. The other people are following me.

Mitkommen.

I dont understand anything but it doesnt sound like freedom. I didnt believe in that since day one. But the others did. Thats why were standing here right now. My father shouldnt give me to a German school. Not in times like that. The German Soldiers are going in a line. Theyre going to a big door we follow them. We have no other choice. One of the Men is opening the door. I see the outlines of a wood. There is another train.

Rein.

We all have to stand in a line. Were going into the horrible train. Its just as I thought. Dark and really wet. No light. Really loud because of all the people who are screaming. Im getting kind of nervous. I never was in a situation like this.

After ten minutes its getting quiet. I dont know whats happening now. The train starts. My eyes are burning. I dont know why. Maybe because I concentrated too much.

The others are sleeping. No ones making a noise. I got this feeling again. Tears are rolling down my skin but I cant cry. Im completely quiet. This is the worst feeling you can have. My tears are never getting emty. Theyre always rolling down. More and more. I dont know if my family knows where I am. If they feel lonely without me. If they noticed. Okay I dont think, theyre so heartless to dont even notice that Im gone. My Brother has told them I guess. But they actually cant do anything. I must survive whatever we get into.