Dear Diary

Chapter 8

An half year now.

The time can go away very fast if you do things you love. But if you are in situations like ours the time goes kind of like a snail.

I think I did it well until now. I am wondering why I am still alive and I have nothing what is bad for my health so all in all: I am doing good.

Dear Diary,

Time goes fast and slowly at the same time. I am here since an half year and I really miss my family. Carla has become my favourite best friend on earth and the Boy told me his name: Dean! He is still really nice and funny and I really like him but I guess I dont have to repeat the words I said to myself about love in here. I wish I would not think about boys like that. It would be much easier. I take lessons of singing in here. Three months ago Carla saved our life with singing a german song with me. I can thank her for so many things. She is trying to get me together with Dean all the time and sometimes that is really annoying. But she does it good. Youll hear from me.

Your Evelin

Zusammen kommen.

The voice of the soldiers sounds all the same. We are going to the little place between the houses. Everytime we meet each other here I feel really scared.

Ihr werdet gezählt. In eine Reihe aufstellen.

We are standing in a line. The other people seem like theyre not feeling better as me right now. Theyre all scared as hell.

Noch 63 Personen.

Carla translates me. It doesnt sound good in anyway. We are just sixty three. We were two hundred at the beginning of our time in here. Well be maybe half of the current number in a month. I take a look to Carla. We must be very careful.

Der Chor hat heute ein Vorsingen für den Herrn Joseph Goebbles und ein paar seiner Soldaten. Es geht um den Ruf unseres Orchesters, also strengt euch gefälligst an und übt in der Zeit, die euch bleibt. Wir holen euch in einer Stunde ab.

The soldiers send us back to work. I take a second look at Carla and she makes me understand that we have to practise a lot.

After one full hour of practising some soldiers enter the room.

Mitkommen, sofort.

We follow them to the door where we came in and my heart begins to beat very fast. I never got out of this since more than an half year. This would be our first time and I guess we are all very excited for leaving the lager. I am aware that we arent here to have fun but it is still an experience to sing in front of people like Mister Joseph Goebbles. I know that he doesnt sees us as good people but we are in the Orchestra and that means we really can sing. No matter if we are Jews or if we are disabled.

We get into one of those trains again. Darkness. Pure darkness and panic again. People are screaming because they are really afraid. They tell themselves questions like What if they just said that and they actually want to kill us? What if well never see each other again and what if well just never see the daylight again? I am just trying to focus on the things that will come to us. It wouldnt get better if Id fall in panic too. Carla sits next to me and she is completely quiet. She thinks the same as I do I guess. like she does it always. We arrive two hours later and I thank god that I just survived that ride we did. The others feel the same I guess because from one minute to the other they are all completely quiet as Carla and me.

The doors get opened. I guess I never was that thankful apart from the fact that I survived until today for sure. The soldiers let us leaving the train but they are talking with us like we are animals and I think that is really disrespectful but I know that I cant say the things thats on my mind so I am just following the rules that they made for us. We have to stand in a line again and we get counted again.