DID, OSDD

Experience 1

So, this happened rather recently. We keep a system log book thing (legit that's what we call it) and we write down things that matter to us. Whether it's info about ourselves, conversations, how we're feeling, situations we've experienced, etc.
Anyways, I had woken rather early. About 4 AM. It has happened a lot recently, our sleep is very bad.
The night before, I was feeling extremely unsafe, like I was being watched. When I woke up, the feeling was still there. I was very paranoid at that point. It was to early to just get up, the sun had yet to rise and I couldn't wake anyone up just so I wasn't physically alone. Plus everyone was sleeping in the inner world too, or so I thought.
The only thing I could think of doing to try and get what I was feeling out, was a page in the logbook. So I started writing how I was feeling, and then Kate came out half way through and started writing furiously on the page. I should have known my paranoia was a bleed through from her, she's known for it. How I hadn't realized she was so close to the front, i don't know. But what she wrote spooked me. I couldn't believe my eyes! I still question whether what she said was true or not.

Kate and myself don't talk much, her and Blair don't often communicate with me. When Kate and I do talk, we don't see eye to eye a lot. So her coming out to me like this was shocking and rather nerve racking.
But she does hold the trauma memories and I have great respect for all she has done to keep our system safe. I think she was having a bit of a breakdown, I'm glad she got how she was feeling out and that she wasn't alone doing so.
She is active at night, I've been told that while we all sleep, she takes control of the body. That concerns me just a little due to her current state, but I think she may finally be pulling herself back together again.