DID, OSDD

Just Happened

Where do I even begin?
This was a terrible idea without the backing of a therapist! I told my parents today that I suffer from Osdd. I explained (in great and painful detail) what was going on, what it was like and (I can't stress this enough) that I had no control over them nor their existence. Wanna know what my dad said?
"I think we're all alittle split personality and that he feels like someone else too sometimes"

And, my two favorite lines he sprawled~

"Im not saying I dont believe you have Osdd, but your 'friends' are just you, in different emotions"

"Normal people learnt how to compartmentalize their emotions, but because you didn't they've just learnt to cope differently"

First of all, he reassured me WAY to many times that I wasn't crazy. Legit, he said every second sentence "you're not crazy or anything" so now I'm kinda weary of what he's telling me.

He believes that they aren't separate people and that they are all just personality traits that haven't integrated.
First of all, they are VERY real and separate people.
Second, they aren't personality traits, they ARE personalites. They have likes and dislikes, memories, different reactions and emotions. Yes some are more brazen than the other, but that isn't their entire being. My protector isn't JUST angry, she can become irritated easily, but she is so much more than that.
Lastly, yes they may have stemmed from emotions. Like all personalities, but they aren't compartmentalize to that single emotion. Yes we haven't integrated, but no, we can't just snap our fingers and we'll all 'absorb' each other (that's what he said. Made us feel uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable)

I sat there, and told him before I began my long speech of how messed up we are and the whole 'hey Im not the only one living in here' thing. I sat there and said I have done significant research into this. I have spent hundreds of hours reading and listening to every drop of info I could get! I knew exactly what I was talking about.

I even used DissociaDid's bowl analogy. Which was what initially made me realize how badly I'd been treating the others. That just because I am host, doesn't mean I was the original or that they were any less important. I tried telling them that. I told them that "you may see me the most, but I'm not the original. I am not some super alter. I am just like the rest of them, I have my area to handle and I handle it as much as I can." but my dad response was "but they wouldn't exist without you. Without you they wouldn't have a purpose and therefore die" and to say that set off a shit-show would be an understatement.
It was like he'd taken everything I just said about being equals, the bowl analogy and that none of us are the original, and just tossed it aside.
He figured his uneducated opion was fact and that my tired, half dissociated and well educated ass, didn't know nothing.
He kept relating it to himself, when he was angry he felt like it wasn't him and BS like that.
My mum kept telling me that I didn't have to feel bad about being different, cause I wasn't and that she knows I must be feeling scared and lost.
I'm not upset that I'm different, nobody is the same and this is my difference. Not pleasant most of the time, but it's manageable.
I'm not afraid. For the first time in my life, I'm not afraid. I know why I think, feel and do certain things. I know now that the voice that would answer my questions as a child was one of them, I know why I randomly couldn't control the body and I was just watching from the backseat. I'm not afraid, I'm relieved.
I certainly am not lost either. I'm not alone, ever. We may not know our destination, but we're enjoying and appreciating every aspect of ride.

We never expected them to understand fully, but we thought they would've had enough respect for us to at least PRETEND to take our word for it.