Hope

A Glimpse of Hope by Jasmine

The flutter of the curtains seemed to be an attempt to cheer me up as it teased the scenery behind itself. The seasons had passed its second summer and were now entering autumn. The maroon colour of the surroundings has a calming effect on me. Although the feeling was quick to shatter when I heard the knock from the nurse before she entered with a small vial and a slightly larger-than-average needle. What I was afraid of wasn't the needle itself, but what was in the vial.

Every single time, whenever it entered my system, there will be this burning sensation going on inside. It was as if the blood itself was boiling causing certain twitching to the body. Furthermore, no amount of other fluids could cool the sensation and it lasted for a full 5 minutes.

I should have run to him.

I should have stayed with him.

I shouldn't have let him go.

I shouldn't regret this...

"Good morning, how are you feeling today?" the nurse started the conversation. She placed the tray on the table beside me before preparing the needle. Throughout my stay in this white room, those were the only sentence she would say to me – and of course, with the common "That's it. Will come back again later."

Not long after, I felt the cooling sensation on my arm and a sting came followed suit. Just as the nurse injected the 'medicine', the burning sensation came in. I winced as I tried to control my reaction.

"That's for today's dosage. Will resume the usual tomorrow again." said the nurse.

She carried the tray and left quietly.

"Amazing, both of them managed to live through the pandemic."

The two of us maintained a tight grip on each other as some people wearing radioactive safe suits approached both of us. They were heaving in excitement as they took note of us who were just minding our own business in this rotten world.

They extended their hands to us, which was enough to fool the naïve us.

We never expected that they had used us – used our family and friends.

Next, came in the main researcher who was in charge of this dreadful project, "Good Morning Miss, I hope that the condensed miasma still remains in your body."

I was quite irritated with his choice of words, but all that mattered to him was whether my immunity system could still negate the effects by itself. The searing effect had still yet to subside but I tried my best to suppress it.

"Your boyfriend is still active at work – helping us in creating a disease-free world."

When I heard that, I glared at the researcher.

He just scoffed and pasted a patronizing smile, "Finally, you're paying attention to me. Are you still clinging onto that memory? I assured you that what we had you witnessed, was a definite fact – He died."

I clenched my fist to resist the urge to hit the man in front of me with his annoying attitude

The fact, what he said – was that time, when I saw with my own two eyes that he got dragged into the isolation room. Apparently, he was Case Nil where he was basically the source of the pandemic. He was a child belonging to one of the researchers chosen to be the test subject for the All-Cure Medication which they were developing. However, to prove that, the child was thrown to the dirtiest part of the country, where disease was part of the norm and the community which where I was from as well.

I saw him being strapped down to the bed forcibly, to had his blood drawn. Then, he was given anesthesia to knock him out. They then began opening his body up – starting from the chest to the abdomen. Due to the fact that it was a rushed work, the anesthesia wore off quicker than expected. Halfway through the extraction, I saw his hands gripping onto the edge of the bed as hard as he could, his eyes couldn't bear to shut close and his silent screams. Not long after – his movements went silent.

I was there tied down to the chair and a blood extractor machine – forced to see a long friend of mine being inhumanely experimented on and all I could do was to watch. Watched as it all happened because simply enough,

He was the cause.

I am the cure.

I thought I had accepted the fact but somewhat, a part of me believed that he was actually still alive despite all that had been done upon him. I wished deep in my heart that he was still somewhere, free of the miasma and living in carefree.

I ignored him as I averted my attention to the scenery beyond the window. He continued rambling on about himself and how he claimed that he had helped the both of us. But all I sensed in his words were self-pride and hypocrisy. Out of the sudden, as the curtain revealed a new part of the view, I caught a glimpse of an ever so familiar figure standing by the corner of the opposite building, staring right at me.

At first, I found it hard to believe because I was sure that the light in his eyes were completely out. But yet, he was there, in the flesh, staring right at me with a smile. I tried to hold back my emotions but...

"I'll save you"

Those were the words that he mouthed before disappearing into the background.

I may be hallucinating or it may just be a part of my misunderstanding, or heck, all this may have been just a dream but,

Is it okay for me to believe that he is still alive?

Is it okay for me to hope that he will come?

The only reason there is hope is because there is despair - this is what I believed. Only because we knew the gravity and how despair felt, it made us clung onto the ephemeral hope so desperately.

We can always hope as long as we never give up. No matter how dark the tunnel is, as long as we keep on moving forward – there will be light at the end.

It will be 'Game Over' only when you stop.