The Ivory Rite

Chapter 17

I pass the glass horse back and forth, resting it on one palm followed by the other, over and over again. Miraculously my trinket survived, almost in one piece. One of the delicate legs is missing. My hands are now free from bandages, mostly unscathed, but abrasions from the attack appear on my arms, trailing up and across the left side of my neck.

Raina bustles around my room as if there's still work to be done. She's already brought me food I wasn't able to stomach, redressed my other bandages and fluffed my pillows a half dozen times.

"Raina, please go and get some rest. There's no need for you to stay up with me." The sun set some time ago, but I can't shut my eyes.

Every time I do, I see Margret's face.

Hear her voice.

Can't you appear to be deserving of your crown for one night?

"The physician says you can't be alone, my Lady." She approaches the bed, moving to fluff my pillows again.

"Surely there is someone else who can keep an eye on me for a few hours. You need to get some sleep." Her only response is to shake her head back and forth.

"You're very loyal, Raina, and I adore you for it." I give her a small smile. "But please leave."

"I'm not the only one reluctant to leave your side." She raises her eyebrows, trying to change the subject. I'm mildly ashamed to admit that it works.

"He's still out there?" Apparently Adair has been stationed outside my door for three days.

Raina nods. "I have no love for that man," she says in a hushed tone. "But he needs to see the physician. He's no good to your protection detail the way he is."

"He hasn't seen the physician?" I sit up straighter, glancing over at the door.

"He insisted upon delivering you here himself after the attack, and he hasn't left since."

"He hasn't slept?"

"A bit, I think. Sitting up, in the hallway." She frowns. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm concerned for him."

"Did he ever come in? While I was asleep?" 

"No." She shakes her head. "He's been getting reports on your condition from Landon." She looks thoughtful. "I think it's quite strange. He's normally so... aggressive," she finishes lamely.

"Aggressive?" I snort. "Did you mean to say rude? Self-important?" She lets more than a few seconds die before responding.

"He saved your life, Diem." She pauses, watching me. I think she's trying to assess if she's overstepped.

"It's his job," I snap, still staring at the door, the color of shame burning hot in my cheeks.

"Do you really believe that's all it is?" Her eyebrows fly up in surprise.

"Yes, of course." I nod my head. "He hates me."

Now it's her turn to snort. "I'm not sure of much when it comes to Adair, but I can assure you, what he feels for you isn't hate."

"Contempt, indifference. There are many labels you could put on it." I shrug.

"He risks his life for you!" she exclaims, crossing her arms over her chest and giving me a disbelieving look.

"All of the White Watch do that, Raina. It's their job." This isn't the first time I've thought about how strange it is. How strange, that my life should be valued and protected over those of countless men.