AGAINST THE WIND : Jacob & Renesmee

12.SOLITARE

JACOB

I reached the house, and without a word I scurried down inside the house heading to Renesmee's room. I saw her standing near the window, staring up at the brightness of the setting sun signed in by the chorus of birds and the other infinite images of beauty.

I stepped forward as the light reached my skin and my eyes adjusted to its brilliance shining through her glass window. I moved to stand beside her and let my hand reach out in the day cast shadow and looking down at the glass frame noticing the pattern on the glass of raindrops.

I flicked to her, "Nessie__" I whispered.

She flipped to me; streams of tears draining down her red cheeks as some of the droplets still remained in her eyes, periodically blurring her visions.

The waves of sadness out-broke within me, turning me into a more lifeless being. I started to remember_her smile, her voice__ memories flooded back into my head that rose an intense heaviness in my chest.

"What do you want ,Jacob?." She choked_bitterly .

" _Nesmee; I am..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I shook my head. "I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry for that-" i pleaded.

She gave a broken smile. "These days the word 'sorry' is meaningless, overrated and over used, Jake." She croaked. "It's just a word-" she gave me a meaningful look_"so do you have some other excuses?."

"Excuses can never make things well--" I broke off. "Renesmee, Alice's vision are subjective and we all thought we would take care of it. We will keep her save but-"

"__ but what?" she cut me off.
"There she is, lying unconscious with some kind of a chemical injected into her system that could shun down a vampire! or could kill her about which we just can't do anything instead cross our fingers and countdown for another hour to pass waiting for her to get up. And here no one even thought about making me aware of it for they felt it to be more comfortable to keep me in the dark side by building up some kind of a story."

I shook my head, "Nessie_ there are no sides. We all are together, we just wanted you to be happy and safe." I responded.

"So what do you think?!_am I happy now or am I safe_?!." She snnaped, her voice flinched in agonizing manner that washed the low currents of hollowness inside me.

"What everyone did was wrong but what you did made it even worse__" she complained.

" I didn't mean to ---"I choked.

"I know you didn't mean__ but you did and just like an emotional sentimental I believed it. I mean-" she gritted. "I don't understand what time will it be that you all will realize that I am older enough to take care of myself and of my loved ones. I don't want anyone by my side to act like a protector for me__" she yelled

I see now, there was no way back for me, there was no way to make it right. I fought for the words to come out of the my mouth but I couldn't do anything better than choke.

Her wide opened chocolate brown eyes reflected everything but I saw nothing....inspite of her pain.
She swallowed "_Do me a favour Jacob_just leave me alone and please if you still respect my a bit you will not try to contact me until I ask_."

I nodded in response absent mindly. I stood there falling on my knees.

She stormed out off the room.

I found myself on the floor. My vision blurred with tears. I realised that when someone looks at you with eyes filled with tears and anger, it hurts_ but when that someone hold your heart, it kills.