Fly For Me Bluebird (boy×boy)

The Dreaded Day

Today is the dreaded day where I explain to my mother that I might be losing my mind. How do you tell your own mother that you talk to inanimate objects and living ones that don't normally speak? She will never look at me the same way again.

But here we are walking together into the guidence office up to Mrs. Ledora who sits patiently waiting at her desk.

This is the moment when my life officially falls apart, my all time low. What would Rosa think of all this? If she finds out will I lose her? Will Victor even want to talk to me after this? And why exactly do I even care what that nerd thinks?

I move a chair so my mom can park her chair beside mine. "Good morning Mrs. Diaz I just want to start by saying you have a wonderful boy here."

My mother looks over to me and back to Mrs. Ledora. "So he's not in trouble this time?"

Mrs. Ledora laughs and clicks the pen in her hand against the hard wood of her desk. "No not at all. In fact were here because I'm concerned about a few things. I think it would be best if we gave Jeremiah a referral to see a councilor. I'll let him tell you why he thinks this is necessary."

My mom grabs my hand and places our interlaced hands on my thigh. "Mom I don't quite know how to tell you this but, I've been hearing things."

"Hearing things about what?" I grit my teeth in frustration not entirely sure how to explain the whole situation to my mother. "I've been hearing voices mom. Usually objects talking to me. It's just been getting worse."

Mrs. Ledora pushes the candy bowl toward us. "I'm concerned that maybe this has somthing to do with his academic decline. What do you think?"

Tears fall down my mother's eyes and she cups her free hand over her eyes. "God dammit. I didn't think we could have to worry about somthing like this. Your father... he had schizophrenia. I never told you because I didn't believe we had anything to worry about. I was told it only made up one percent of the population."

Mrs. Ledora tapped her pen a few times carefully concidering her answer. "I don't think we should be jumping to any conclusions there are plenty of things that could cause hullucetions. Let's just focus on getting him into a therapists office and giving him a chance to talk through his struggles."

Sitting through the rest of my classes has been the most difficult thing I've done in a long time. I spend most of the time worrying about what I've done to my mother. Worrying about what will come of me.

The only memories I have of my father are the ones where he came home drunk off his ass at two in the morning. I don't want to be anything like my father.

When I finally arive at the art room after final bell I'm less that thrilled to see Victor patiently waiting for me. His smile slowly fades from his face. "Oh thank god you decided to come back. I just wanted to apologize for laughing at you. I feel like a total ass."

I glare at him and take my seat. "I don't even want to hear it. Just so you know, I had to sit in the office and explain to my mother that I was beginning to hear voices. And you know what happened? I had to watch her cry."

Victor's expression turns dark and he stares down at his feet for a brief moment before returning eye contact. "Listen, I never meant to upset you. I knew you would hate me for this. I'm just concerned for your well being, is that not aloud?"

Suddenly I feel as if maybe I'm being to harsh on him. "Why are you concerned about me? I know you dislike me."

Victor pokes me on the arm. "Hey stop saying that. No I might not have liked you when we first met. Which is not my fault by the way. But I'm allowed to worry about you when your not doing well. I think most people would respond the same way."

I catch myself sporting a dopey grin. "Well damn someone has human compassion after all. Maybe the nerds aren't really as bad as I once thought."