Fly For Me Bluebird (boy×boy)

Cold Sweat

I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. The last week has been the toughest week of my life. The one thing they don't tell you about mental illness is how long it takes to get a proper diagnoses and how many drugs you get put on.

I had yet another nightmare that I was being stalked by a man in a top hat and hunted like wild game.

The minute I wake up the voices start. Over and over again they whisper to me. I have to turn my clock around in my room to get it to shut up, only for the trees outside to start up shortly later. "Stupid faggot. Go to hell you sinner. Dirty sinner."

This repeats itself over and over again until I'm sobbing. My mom unsure of the right thing to do keeps me home from school and calls my psychiatrist.

"Thankyou Dr. Delleheim I'll send him right in."

I jump up from the couch. "Woah send me where exactly?" My mom wheels over and grabs her keys.

"We're going to children's psychiatric hospital. Dont argue with me please. Just grab your backpack and throw in a couple pairs of sweats and some sweaters. He doesn't know how long they'll keep you but he thinks you're in danger of a psychotic break and you might need a med adjustment."

I freak out and lock myself in my room. After an hour of my mom pounding on the door and calling Rosa to talk me into coming out they settle into calling the police.

To my suprise they show up with an ambulance and strap me onto a stretcher. I fight their grip which gives them reason to restrain me. Apparently Rosa packed my bag as they were loading me up.

The entire ride is hell. I worry that they're taking me to a secret government facility to run experiments on me like an animal.

"Get your fucking hands off of me." They inject me with something in my right sholder.

"This is just a little somthing to help calm your nerves we've already asked your mother about all your meds."

The rest of the day I spend pacing the floors of the psychiatric hospital unable to sit still. Finally at about ten till 5 dinner was served and I got 2 visitors.

"Victor oh my god am I glad to see you. They're going to run experiments on me. They put some kind of sedative in my food I know they did." Victor lost it crying and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey, J I know probably mad at me for calling the cops but you're only here so we can keep you safe."

"Shut up Rosa. You were in on this the whole time." At this point Victor looks like a hot mess of snot and tears. They sit with me for an hour talking about what I've missed at school and who's dating who.

"God damn it stop reminding me how single I am."

"Well maybe boys would like you if you weren't always insulting them."

"Shut up Victor that's dumb." Victor rolls punches me playfully on the sholder.

"Wow watching y'all flirt and not even realize it is like extremely painful." I grin.

The next few days they come back to see me each day getting slightly more optimistic. In total they keep me for four days before they decide I'm no longer a danger to myself or others. Now of course I'm on a whole new set of medications than before.

I'm still paranoid but at least now I'm not trying to hit the cops and blame them for drugging me. I can already tell somthing they've given me is working better than the last med because I went 5 hours without hearing a single voice with is significantly less than before.