Butterflies of the Dark Star

33 (REVISED)

Atmospheric pressure followed her with a cruel embrace as she fought against her own sobs, straight into the reset built on a foundation of her tears.

"Spacyn?" Admiral Mythrai's voice asked through the bloody haze. "Are you alright?"

Every voice disappeared to the vacuum of space, doomed to the end of time. A dying butterfly with the nebulous wings of truth, and a hand rested on her shoulder before wrapping an arm around her neck. "Nova," his voice whispered, but the sound of him choking on his own blood echoed through her ears when she drove her fingers into his coat to rip out the pain from him.

How many more times? Nova screamed, but no one heard. Tucked into the shelter of her arms, she willed it to disappear. Another hand guided her closer into a softer, gentle embrace of nebulous greys with a sense of caution instead of insatiable curiosity.

His voice joined the dissonance of whispered starlight. Nova choked on rustic bile as he pulled her out of the chair. Horrific sounds filled her mind, a thousand deaths, with no escape or sense. Static drowned out the present when someone nudged her into motion against the current, until it came to an unfair stop and her tears stained her fingers to mix with blood.

"Nova?" Neo drew her hands off her face with a concerned frown. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

Talk to me...

Nova drove her teeth into her tongue and embraced him. "I'm so sorry," she begged for forgiveness for the cruelty she perpetuated, except her apologies meant nothing to someone who'd never remember the reason why. It webbed her throat to say nothing. "I don't want to be alone."

He returned her embrace with a slow exhale, never choking on it. Unlike the last loop, where he asked the questions and she pushed him with her inability to answer them, he said, "There's no need to be sorry."

But you don't even know why I'm saying it, you foolish... Nova held him close to hear him breathe. In her bubbling peripheral, Thuni and Ulin hesitated on the edge of her event horizon. Another change in the loop. Thuni's hesitation rang out, but he led Ulin to the transit system, to follow the track of the loop. Unable to warn them once more, she held onto Neo. Her single lifeline. "I don't want to be here," she rasped. I don't want to stand here with only the bloody consequences of my actions.

"Anywhere in particular you'd rather be?"

I want to go home.

"Nova."

Impossible.

Neo sighed and guided her through the corridor, a silent gesture of assurance and consistency between variables. He never changed. It strengthened the musical heartbeat as he rushed her back to their dorm. Neo closed the door with one hand, blocking out the nail-scratching noises. Her ears rang with pain as she cried into his shoulder, and another failure awaited her.

"Talk to me, Neo."

One last time for her flimsy hope.

He shuffled in her grip. "Any topic you want to hear?"

Last time I asked, you questioned if I was sure — as if I never wanted to hear you talk again. "Anything." Just tell me you're still here. You can die, but it resets. It will always reset. Nova wiped her tears with her sleeve as he gave her support she failed to give in return in his last moments. You died right when I almost had you. I was so close. I know I could've changed something, but you... you left me.

Were you just too tired? Was it too much?

Why didn't you hold on for a couple more moments?