LOG 008

46 7 30
                                    

TERMINAL: ONLINE

USER: Intern Researcher TeIMEa of the B.H Butterfly.

DRONE: ANOMALY DETECTED — SPACE/TIME FOLDING. SCAN LOGGED. MESSAGES REGISTERING. FAILURE TO SEND. CONFIRM PURGE OF CORRUPTION.

MESSAGES:

(FAILED TO SEND)

It's all wrong

LOG:

You're gone.

I'm pretty sure a black hole materialised in my stomach. I didn't need breakfast anyway. Breakfast is for people who get up early consistently. I don't do that.

Irritability. Restlessness. Insomnia. Nausea - sometimes vomiting if severe. Delirium.

Space Sickness is common on some of the longer hauls for those inexperienced and unadjusted to space station life. Soothe rooms are required on all UCG registered space stations to bring a reminder of home away from home for a calming sense of mind to avoid irritation or overt aggression.

(MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND)

It feels wrong

A temporary solution.

I mean... you make a lot of jokes about it, but at least in a minimal sense, it helps. Seeing life and what we left behind. Knowing what waits for us when this is over.

(MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND)

Is it worth it?

I hear the music lift over the city from the orchestral hall we used to go to with our class. I hear it, and it never stops.

It's less dissonant now. Clear.

(MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND)

It almost makes sense

I need to hear more.

(MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND)

You won't understand

That's why I'm here, to understand. I want to understand why the D.S Butterfly disappeared, where in the universe those researchers went, to listen to the warning they sent. The distress beacon had the music too, just like a heartbeat.

I need to understand the message they left behind.

I have to know.

I have to understand what I've been hearing in the back of my mind.

If I can't understand it...

(MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND)

What's the point of trying?

Listen to me.

You'll come back soon, and I'll get up and pretend I'm okay. I'll keep pretending, and smiling, and laughing so you can smile and laugh and not need to understand me. It's too hard. It's too hard to think about the things I could say to make you hate me.

(MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND)

I open my mouth and I can't handle the rejection that comes after

Like a swallowing black hole

I can't let you see

The lie is easier to grasp

It's calling my name, but I'm too numb. I can't bring myself to do what I need to do

(MESSAGE SENT)

I'm okay

I didn't mean to worry you

DROID: MESSAGE RECEIVED.

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