Shot Throught the Heart

two

Logan didn't seem to notice the tension between us as he kept babbling on about all the 'soldier' things I told him about. Then finally I think he had enough of us just staring at us an ran off towards the playground.

            "He's a really cool kid." I said and thumbed over in the general direction where Logan ran off too, trying to break the awkward tension that fell over us.

            "He really is the best. I uhm, heard about your dad, I'm sorry for your loss." Mallory said and finally took her eyes off of mine. Only then did I have a chance to breath. Seeing Mal for the first time in 10 years is about to give me a heart attack. I was hoping I would be able to come home and leave again before she notice I was even here, but that just went right out of the window.

            "Thank you. Uhm, I don't really mean to be this person but do you normally let Logan just run around by himself in the playground? He just came right up to me with no fear and started asking me about the army." I said.

            "No, he's seven and full of energy all the time, he runs off a lot and he knows to not talk to strangers or leave the playground. I've went over this a few times with him. He just so damn fast, once second he is in front of me and then next he is off to the races somewhere else." Mal said and kept her eyes on her son not the slightest bit offended at my comments.

            "That's good. I'm going to head out now, I need to finish my run, I stayed here longer then I thought I would have anyway." I said trying to find an exit to this conversation, fast.

            "So you're still in then I'm guessing?" Mal said and pointed to the side of my face. That god damn grenade blast.

            "Yup, just hit ten years actually, was going to celebrate it with dad when I got back from deployment" The rest of my sentence died on my lips when I thought that it a little bit more. Dad's gone. My eyes suddenly started to water and I knew I needed to leave, now.

            "I gotta go." I said and didn't even wait to hear a response from the girl I used to love before I took off running out of the playground and towards home.

            The rest of my run didn't take long. I just push myself harder to get home faster. My normal pace of steady but fast was abandoned and I just pushed myself in an all-out sprint. The tears streaming down my fast made it hard to see some times but I just kept wiping them away and pushed through. I finally made it home and saw moms car in the driveway. I threw open the door when I got to it and slammed it close after myself.

            I turned around and slid down the door and put my face in my hands. The last wall I had up was finally braking and I sobbed. I sobbed so hard it felt like I couldn't breath. Everything that I had been holding in since I got the news came out and I couldn't stop it. I ripped my hat off my head and threw it somewhere before putting my head in between my legs to try and help the panic. My dad is gone. The man who did everything in his power to help me succeed in my career even when his own job and reputation was on the line. The man who would always pick me up when I was down. The man who taught me everything I know in being a good soldier, is just gone now.

            I don't know how long I was sitting on the floor for when I felt someone wrapped their arms around me and pull me into them, mom. She didn't say anything. She just held me tight to her, like the rock she has always been for this family while dad and I were deployed. Her long fingers combed through my hair after she pulled it out of my bun and as she hummed some lullaby she used to sing to Dominic and I when we were kids. It helped. Slowly but surely, the tears slowed and eventually stopped, only to be replaced by this giant gaping hole in my chest  that I don't know how to fill.