A Guide to Our Love [gxg]

Chapter Five

Evelynne

       I didn't know how long I stood outside, just staring at the sky with tears streaming down my face. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Did I really say all of that to her? She is one of the most important people in my life. I just wanted to wake up and it'll all be a dream. But I knew it wasn't. And I knew I had really messed up this time.

      Alexia and I have fought before. We have yelled at each other and said things we didn't mean, but never like this. And I mean NEVER like this. I don't even know why I had said all of those things. They aren't even true. I don't think she's selfish or that I would be better off without her. I can't even imagine what my life would be like without her.

       As much as I didn't want to leave without making things right, I knew her dad would never let me in the house. He's so protective of her, for good reasons, and I had really hurt her. I called my mom to come pick me up since I didn't have a ride home. While sitting on the curb, waiting for her to come, I pulled out my phone to pass the time. I noticed I had several texts from Jonah. A lot of them were him asking if I'm okay. Instead of replying, I decided to call him.

       "Hey, baby," I said as soon as he answered. I tried to sound as cheerful as possible, not wanting him to know something was wrong.

       "Hey...are you okay? You practically sprinted out of the movie and I couldn't find you." I knew he felt bad, but I wasn't sure if I should tell him what really happened.

       "Yeah, I'm feeling better now. I just felt really sick and ran to the gas station to throw up and get something for my stomach." I mean...it technically wasn't all a lie. I did start to feel sick. 

       "Oh...well I hope you feel better. I should probably let you rest if you aren't feeling that great. Maybe I can stop over tomorrow if you feel up to it."

       "Maybe, I'll let you know if I do. I should probably rest. Love you."

       "Bye. I love you too. Feel better." With that, he hung up. I feel bad about lying to him, but that's just another thing to add to my pile of fuck ups. 

      As my mom pulled up, I could tell she immediately knew something was wrong. I got in the car, not saying a word. I didn't even know If I could look at her. She has always loved Alexia like a daughter and would be so disappointed in me if she knew what happened. 

       "Hey, honey. Did something happen?" She asked me as we drove down the street. 

       "No, mom. Just leave it alone," I snapped at her. I didn't mean to, but I just didn't feel like myself right now. "I want to go home." After that, she stopped trying to talk to me. I knew she was sending worried glances my way, but I didn't really care. 

      I had too much on my mind right now. My mind kept going back and forth between Alexi and Jonah. I had to do something to make it up to both of them. I knew Jonah will forgive me for running out, but I don't know if Alexia will ever forgive me. If there's one thing she can do, it's hold a grudge. She once held a grudge against my brother for two years after he accidentally popped her blow-up pool. 

       My brother is a year older than us and a freshman in college. He and Alexia have always had a sibling relationship. She's pretty much family at this point. And I hate to think that I might have just ruined her relationship with my family in one go. Maybe if I called him, he would know what to do.

       I didn't realize we had pulled into the driveway until my mom had opened my door, looking at me concerned. 

       "Are you sure you're okay? I called your name like five times." Now I know why she seemed so concerned. I was so caught up in my thoughts I completely spaced out.

       "Yeah...I was just thinking." With that, I got out of the car and walked straight into my house. I walked up the stairs and into my art studio, which was really just the extra bedroom my parents have never had a use for. I always go there when I need to think. It was a pretty big room that was completely white. Well, it used to be white. Now there are mini murals and paint swatches all over the walls. My paintings were lined up on the floor, with a big white tarp covering the floor. 

      I grabbed a canvas and put it on my easel. I brought my big bean bag chair over and turned the music up so loud I couldn't hear myself think. I put random paints out and just got lost in it. I let the music and my thoughts take over. I didn't have a plan on what I was going to paint. I just let my hands do the work. 

      I didn't even realize my parents coming into the room or that I was crying. I didn't notice them until I heard them gasp. I startled and turned around. I was surprised to see them in here. They usually leave me alone until I'm ready to come out and talk. I looked out the window noticing it was dark. I didn't even know it had gotten so late. 

       "What are you doing in here?" They didn't do anything but stare. I didn't realize what they were staring at until I turned around too. 

       It was first grade recess and Alexia and I were sitting behind the slide, no one else around us. "I think I wanna marry you one day" she said to me.

       "I think I wanna marry you one day too," I replied smiling at her. She smiled back at me unable to reply before the bell rung. We ran out from under the slide and into the school...holding hands the whole way in.

       I stared in shock at what was the on the canvas. I didn't even realize I was painting it....it was...it was a painting of Alexia and I...getting married!!?