A Guide to Our Love [gxg]

Chapter Fifteen

Alexia 

       I left after we showered. Everything just felt so good. I don't think I've ever had any sex like that in my life. I didn't want to leave after, but we have school tomorrow and I knew my dad would want me home.

      The second I walked into the house I was met by my dad. He smiled knowingly at me. 

       "So are you two finally together?" This asshole. I can't believe him. 

        "And why is that any of your business?" He just grinned at me. "But if you must know, we may or may not be together."

       "I knew it. But please make sure you're being safe. You know....sexua-"

       "We're not doing this. Ever." I tried to cut him off, but he wasn't stopping. I know he's just trying to make sure I'm being safe, but OH MY GOD.

     "Don't interrupt. I just care about your health. And I'm your parent we I should give the talk."

     "DAD! We're not having any talk. I know how sex works. AND I know how to be safe."

     I didn't wait for an answer because this was just so embarrassing. I walked up to my room, ignoring whatever my dad was going on about.

     I just laid right down on my bed, crawling in. I had already changed into pajamas at Eve's house, so I didn't really have to do much. And plus, today has been emotionally taxing. As much as I love Eve, these past two days have been a lot.

     We had gone from being mad at each other, to ignoring each other, to awkward conversations, to a date and a love confession. It was all too much now that I've come down from the high. I knew that it was going to be bad tomorrow, but I don't regret a thing. 

    I knew I would wake up feeling like shit, though. It always happens after something draining happens. I could be happy, sad, nervous, or angry, but I always end up drained. I hated it. I hated that I could be on top of the world one second, but at the bottom of a dark pit the next. I never could figure out why it happens, so I just blamed it on my depression. I knew my dad didn't totally believe me and has tried to get me to open up about it. But I just never could.

    I lay in bed for a while, my thoughts consuming me. Both good and bad thoughts filtered through my head. It had to have been hours before my mind finally quieted enough for me to sleep. 

   I woke up after a dreamless night of sleep. The second I opened my eyes I knew I was right. Whenever I got drained like this, I felt paralyzed. I didn't want to eat, drink, talk, or get up. I felt so frustrated with myself. 

  I heard my dad knock on my door, but I just couldn't get myself to answer. He hesitantly opened the door and poked his head in. He made eye contact with my dead ones. That was when I finally broke. 

   I cried harder than I have in a long time. Some of it was because I was frustrated with myself, part of it was because I felt so empty, and the other part of it was that very bad thing came to the surface at once. I heard my dad make his way over and onto my bed. 

   He sat next to me, and I laid my head on his lap. He was in dress close, already ready for work. That just made me cry harder. I felt like I was disappointing him. He was just trying to live his life and support both of us all by himself. But here he is, late for work with his fuck up of a daughter crying on him. 

    I pushed him away from me. I heard him make a surprised noise. I have never, ever, pushed him away like this before. But I felt like I was trapping him.

    
"Go," I managed to croak out hoarsely, "I'll be fine." 

    I was surprised I could even get the words out. He looked perplexed. I knew it probably was best for him to go. I didn't want to upset him even further and he does have to go to work. 

   He nodded. "Alright. I'll leave, but don't think I'm leaving you. I'll call one of Evelynne's parents to come to check on you. I love you." I heard the door close soon after, signaling he left. 

   I didn't do anything the rest of the day. I literally just laid there, unmoving. I just let every bad thought wash over me. It wasn't like I could do anything to stop it either. 

  Why can't I just be happy for once?

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Hello! I know I have been a little slow with updating, but my spring break is coming up soon and I'll be able to update more. Hopefully, I'll finish this soon and start my next project.

I'm actually really excited to start working on it. It's going to be an enemies to lovers bxb book. After that, I'll start working on "The Chance of Being Me."

Thanks for reading!!