"What the fuck is your problem?" I asked my sworn enemy.
"Have you lost your damn mind!" I scream at the top of my lungs. This bitch better answer me before I lose my shit.
"HELLOO!" I get closer this time. Now I'm directly in his face screaming a...
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~*~
Today is the day I become the woman who won the lottery. The one who won the impossible. Today is my wedding day.
The anxiety I have is nothing compared to the anxiety I have felt ever before in my life. I am terrified that I would do or say something stupid at the alter and it is causing me to have second thoughts. I obviously will get married to Kylo; it is just a matter of when... the night I caught him- doing what he was doing- I found something on my floor that did not make any sense.
It made me question my ability to be sane enough to realize that there was jizz all over my god damn floor. I asked Kylo and he had no idea how it got there. I was so genuinely confused.
But I realized that I had bigger things to worry about, so I pushed the thought aside and I looked at myself in the mirror. The ladies have been here all morning dolling me up for my wedding day. I was so excited... but I was also so damn scared.
I am giving myself up to this man. Him and him only. Can I do that? Can I really go through with this?
I put my head into my hands, and I sighed loudly. Julia seemed to understand what was going through my mind and she came up behind me and gave me a large hug.
"Hey babes." She whispered in my ear before kissing the back of my head.
"Hi Julia." She turned the chair around, so I was now facing her. She smiled softly and played with my hair in her fingertips.
"How scared are you? Hmm?" She spoke softly, like she knew I would run off if she spoke any louder than this.
"I'm so fucking scared Julia. I don't know what to do." I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes and she quickly made these clicking sounds with her tongue and began to softly wipe at my eyes with a q-tip, so I wouldn't fuck up my makeup.
"Being afraid is okay Clara... it's just whether or not you'll run that's not good. I know you and I know exactly how your mind works, and I know that right now you're thinking about sprinting out that door and not making this commitment. But I want you to think about Kylo here. He loves you more than anything in this world and you and I both know that. He wants to make this commitment with you, and so should you. Grow some balls and MARRY THIS MAN!" She yelled the last part, and I laughed so hard I almost peed myself and that wouldn't have been good.
She's right though. I need to man up and do the right thing. And that's marrying the love of my life.
"Thank you." I gave her the biggest hug and she smiled back at me with her large, white teeth.
