DARE TO TRUST AGAIN!

ch-5

"Hey sissy!"I saw my brother enter through the front door. "Why?why do you look kinda off?"

"That's why I called you anna"(native word to address a elder brother)

"Is it , is it about sashan?"he looked a little pale.

"Yes it is. Is there something that you and others hide from me? I just get the feel. i just can't put the pieces together even after whole 6 years. I just can't take it anymore. I really want to vent it out to someone."

He didn't speak anything which kinda gave the way for me to continue speaking.

" Do you guys even know how much i suffer? I really miss him. Every night, every day, every hour, every minute, every fucking second i miss him so damn much."( HE has forbidden me to use swear words but this time he just started at me with eyes wide open.)

    The memories started to hit me. Sridhar, sashan and dharshith being friends. Out little gang with Kai and amaira at times. How much i missed those times. Few drops of tears slipped from my eyes. This gave a sign to my brother who was just starting to say something.

"Rhea, dear, look. I know you miss all of us. But we cannot bring back sashan or undo things happened. And about kai she just disappeared into nowhere. We know nothing about her to reach her. "

"I know anna. But still i just can't forget them. How much ever i try i just can't get closer to amaira as much as i did with Kai. And i don't complain, you are the perfect brother for me, even without any blood relation."

"But still no one can ever fulfill sashan's place. Do you even remember how our family was? How mother was? How happy and full i felt? And dharshith....i gulped the lump, i really love him. So much."

"Since when i was little, we were all together. And suddenly one night everything changed and how much ever i try not to think about these things, it's still the first and last thing that comes in my mind in a day. It always stays in the back of my mind"

"Y-you love dharshith?"

" Yes i do. I don't know he was always different from all of you. And he too feels the same way. He kinda said that to me. Today."

" He proposed to you!??"

" Yes, i do want to accept him  but i just can't. Something inside me says that there are things that i don't know" with that i looked into his eyes.

" Rhea, there is something that i want to say to you. Like since forever. I just can't bring myself to say it out"

" Don't say that sashan didn't die in an accident!" Please..

"It is Rhea. There is something more. We though you would feel bad."

" Why would I feel bad? Is it something related to me?

" It is. But not solely about you"

" Please do explain everything clearly. I knew you were there wh-when h-he d-died"

He closed his eyes trying to recall the scary night.

" That night, you cried, but you fell asleep. He was not able to. He just cannot see you cry. Do you remember why you cried?"

"Amaira didn't share her purple remote butterfly with me"

"Exactly. Dharshith and sashan went to buy you somthing similar to that. As i said he just was disturbed seeing you cry. I know it's silly. But we were all silly at that time. I think sashan knew you better than me. He lost his life in saving dharshith. It was still an accident but i know you didn't knew that dharshith was involved in this. Even when he was taken to hospital the last thing he said to me was " sridhar, please take care of Rhea as your own sister. She is fragile. Too fragile. Be as me for her"."

I was unable to say anything. Clearly the lump in my throat was over taking my voice. Tears were flowing out from my eyes. I just couldn't take it. I killed my brother.

"You all lied to me. I killed my brother. I am cursed as my mother says. I am unlucky. I don't deserve to be loved. I don't deserve to be alive. I am a monster. Get out. Out of all the people, you lied to me!" I shouldn't have but i did. I pushed my brother out of the room, and locked it.He looked like he did a sin, as if he said out something he shouldn't have said to me.

"I killed my brother. My tears. I couldn't cry anymore. All my tears were dried up. I killed my brother. And the next person I loved after my brother was kaii and dharshith. That's why they moved away from me. Far away. Away from my reach."

"I should die. I am useless. I am a burden. It should be me or dharshith who should have died. Sashan.......I'm sorry!"

Things were going round in my head. I felt so dizzy. My head throbbed, hurt like hell and i finally gave in, my eyes closed and i fell silent.

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Thank you for reading. I would appreciate your comments and votes. Thank you.

Amaira Rhea✨❣️